Love addicts are different from love avoidants in that they tend to feel intense emotional pain because of a lack of love or closeness to a romantic partner. Love avoidants, on the other hand, tend to view any kind of intimacy as potentially threatening.
In this article, we’ll explore more of the differences between love addicts and love avoidants. We’ll also discuss some steps you can take to improve your relationships.
What Is a Love Addict?
Love addiction is a compulsive pattern of behavior that may be similar to addiction to drugs or alcohol. The person who loves is not addicted to the feeling of being loved, but rather to the idea of being in love. It’s about the idea of finding your soul mate and living happily ever after.
The love addict craves love and attention from others, but when they get it, they do not feel satisfied. Instead, they crave more and more attention from more people. They may get involved with people who are abusive to try and prove that they are worthy of love by being able to endure poor treatment from others.
Love addicts often have low self-esteem, which causes them to seek attention at any cost, including putting up with abuse or neglect from their partner or family members in order to get that attention.
This can lead them down a path of self-destruction as they become increasingly desperate for outside validation instead of learning to take care of themselves first.
What Is Love Avoidant?
Love avoidants are people who have an intense fear of intimacy. They can be very successful in their careers and have many friends, but they cannot form lasting relationships.
The reason is they are afraid that if they allow themselves to get involved with another person, that person will hurt them. They may even think that they will be abandoned by their partner or lose them in some way.
People with love avoidant usually have low self-esteem, which manifests itself in the belief that they are not worthy of the love or affection of others. This can make it difficult for people close to them to help them overcome their fear of intimacy because they do not believe anyone could care enough about them to stay with them forever.
Love avoidants also often use their partners as a source of their validation and self-worth because they tend to be more independent in other areas of their lives.
They are reluctant to share anything about themselves with their partner, including their feelings, which makes it difficult for them to connect emotionally with their partner. They also tend to withhold things from their partner that could potentially hurt them, which can lead to trust issues later on.
Love Addicts Feel Intense Emotional Pain From a Lack of Love or Closeness, Love Avoidants Typically Do Not Feel This Kind of Pain
Love addicts feel intense emotional pain from a lack of love or closeness from their partner. This is because they’re very sensitive to the feelings of others and are more inclined to feel the feelings of others. They want to feel close to someone, but this can be difficult if they’re constantly rejected, criticized, or abandoned by those around them.
On the other hand, love avoidants typically do not feel this kind of pain. This is because they don’t have the same attachment needs as love addicts. Love avoidants will often struggle with intimacy, but usually not because they’re overwhelmed with it, but because they don’t want to be vulnerable and feel like they’re being hurt by their partners.
Love avoidants are also more comfortable being alone than love addicts and often spend a lot of time alone. They tend to be introverted and don’t seek relationships as urgently as love addicts. They often enjoy their own company and aren’t looking for someone to complete them or make them happy.
Love Addicts Often Have a Strong Need for Approval and Validation, Love Avoidants Typically Do Not Need This Kind of Approval
Love addicts can be defined as people who feel compelled to seek romantic partners who will meet their needs for validation. They often feel that they need a partner who will treat them well, give them lots of attention, and make them feel like they are the most important person in their partner’s life.
For example, if love addict feels insecure about themselves and their self-esteem, they may seek a partner who constantly tells them how beautiful or smart they are.
Because of this intense need for validation, love addicts often have trouble being alone and may become dependent on their partners. They may also find it difficult to be in relationships where they don’t feel they’re the center of attention.
A love avoidant might be someone who has always been independent. They’ve never been dependent on anyone, so when they meet someone, they don’t care if that person approves of them or not; they just want to spend time with someone. These people attract the attention of other love avoidants because they’re both independent and used to living without relying on others.
Love Addicts Often Have Difficulty Setting Boundaries, Love Avoidants Typically Have No Problem Setting Healthy Boundaries
Love addicts have a hard time setting boundaries in their relationships. They are often unable to say “no” or “stop.” They may feel like they have to please everyone around them and can not say no even when they need or want something themselves.
The main reason love addicts find it so hard to set boundaries is that they see themselves as the source of all the problems in the relationship. They think that if they could only be perfect enough or did everything right, their partner would love them and stay with them forever. This leads them to sacrifice their own needs to make sure their partner is happy.
This type of behavior can lead to serious problems in the long run. First, over time, your partner will lose respect for you because he/she may see you as weak and unreliable.
Second, it will lead to resentment because your partner will feel like he/she has all the power and control over the relationship, while you are just desperately trying to keep things from getting out of hand so that things do not change between the two of you!
Love avoidants typically have no problem setting healthy boundaries. They have a strong sense of self and know what they want in life, and therefore they know what they can and cannot tolerate.
They don’t feel the need to be in a relationship just because everyone else is. They even think that being in a relationship is uncomfortable because it means giving up some of their autonomy.
Love avoidants also know how to communicate their needs and wants to their partner. They aren’t afraid of conflict or of saying “no” when they need to. As a result, they tend to live in healthier relationships than love addicts who don’t know how to set boundaries.
Love Addicts Often Feel That They Need Their Partner to Be Happy, Love Avoidants Typically Do Not Feel This Way
Love addicts often feel that they need their partner to be happy. This is because love addicts tend to be extremely dependent on other people for happiness. They often feel that they will never be happy if they are not in a relationship or if their current relationship is not going well.
This can lead to an unhealthy cycle of seeking relationships that are not healthy for them, and then feeling extremely unhappy when the relationship ends or becomes unhealthy.
On the other hand, love avoidants typically do not feel that they need a partner to be happy. They are often independent and self-sufficient. Even though love avoidants may enjoy being in a relationship, they do not feel that they need one to be content. This is because love avoidants usually have other things in their lives that bring them happiness, such as friends, hobbies, and interests.
Love Addicts Often Blame Their Partners for All Problems in the Relationship, Love Avoidants Are More Likely to Take Responsibility for Their Actions
Love addicts often blame their partners for all the problems in the relationship. They see the other person as the cause of all the problems and take no responsibility for themselves or their part in the situation. This can lead to a lot of resentment and anger, which is common among love addicts.
When a love addict starts to feel anxious or insecure, they may lash out at their partner and blame them for all the problems in the relationship. This can cause the love addict’s partner to feel insecure about their role in the relationship, which can lead to further conflict between the two.
Love avoidants are more likely to take responsibility for their own actions. They apologize when they hurt someone and do everything in their power to make sure they don’t hurt anyone else. Love avoidants understand how someone might feel if they were treated badly by them. They know that it’s not okay to hurt someone and do their best not to do it again.
Love avoidants are also more likely to take responsibility for their actions because they want to solve any problems in the relationship as quickly as possible. When there are problems in a relationship, love avoidants want to figure out what exactly is causing them so they can work with their partner to solve them.
Sometimes this means that love avoidants will bring up big issues early in a relationship so that they can both talk about them before things get too serious and something bad happens later.
Love Addicts Often Find It Difficult to End Relationships, Love Avoidants Are More Likely to End Relationships Quickly
Love addicts often find it difficult to end relationships. In some cases, this is because they are afraid of being alone and think that if they stay in a relationship, even if it is not healthy, at least they will not be alone. But even if they are not afraid of being alone, breaking up with someone isn’t always easy.
For example, if a love addict has been in an abusive relationship for years and eventually leaves that person, she will probably feel guilty about leaving him and worry about what will happen to him after she leaves. She may also worry about how he will take care of himself without her help.
This kind of thinking is called “caretaking” or “enabling.” It means that we try to solve other people’s problems by doing things for them, rather than allowing them to find their own solutions and be responsible for themselves.
Another reason love addicts have such difficulty ending relationships is that they tend to become “addicted” to the excitement or drama that happens in relationships and then once those feelings subside over time (as they inevitably do), they will feel lost and has no idea what else might excite them again.
Love avoidants are more likely to end relationships more quickly when they do not feel satisfied. This is because love avoidants have a higher level of self-centered and have little empathy, so they often do not care how their actions affect others.
They will simply end a relationship because they are unhappy in it, even if that means breaking up with someone they care deeply about. Love avoidants are also afraid of being trapped in a relationship and therefore avoid close emotional relationships.
Love Addicts Are Often Obsessed With Their Partner, Love Avoidants Typically Do Not Obsess Over Their Partner in the Same Way
Love addicts are people who need to be in a relationship to feel fulfilled. If they don’t have one, they will obsess over their partner – and often this obsession can lead to unhealthy behaviors like stalking or manipulation. Love addicts will often do anything to get their partner’s attention and keep them around, even if it means neglecting their own needs or hurting others.
Love avoidants, on the other hand, aren’t obsessed with their partner and feel more comfortable being single than in a relationship. They may even feel that they don’t need anyone in their lives, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings for people or don’t want relationships – they just don’t need or want them as much as love addicts do.
Love Addicts Are More Prone to Drama in Their Relationships, Love Avoidants Are Less Prone to Drama
Love addicts are more likely to get caught up in dramatic situations because they want to feel that they are in control of their relationships. They are often unaware of the damage they are doing to themselves and others, but they are usually trying to get the attention of those around them.
Love addicts are more likely to get into arguments because they can not help but feel jealous and insecure. They feel that the other person is going to leave them. They may also feel like they have to prove how much they love the other person, so they end up saying or doing things that make the other person feel like they do not care about them at all.
Love avoidants, on the other hand, tend to be passive and avoid conflict at all costs. It’s not that they do not care about their partners; rather, they believe that not causing drama or problems in their relationship is best for everyone involved. Love avoidants also do not want to argue with their partners and often try to avoid conflict by avoiding arguments altogether.
Love Addicts Often Have Co-Dependent Relationships, Love Avoidants Typically Do Not Have Co-Dependent Relationships
Love addicts often enter into co-dependent relationships because they need to feel loved and needed to fill the emotional hole inside them. They may be attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable or who cannot give them the love they need.
This can lead to a cycle of abuse in which the love addict becomes more and more needy and dependent on their partner, while their partner withdraws further and becomes more emotionally distant.
This cycle can be very damaging to both parties. The love addict can end up feeling rejected and used, while the partner can feel overwhelmed and suffocated. To break this cycle, it is important for both parties to know their own needs and vulnerabilities and to honestly communicate these needs to each other.
Love avoidants typically do not have co-dependent relationships. The reason is that they are often afraid of intimacy. They may be afraid that they will be hurt or abandoned if they get too close to someone. To prevent this, the love avoidant will keep their distance from their partner and tries to prevent any kind of vulnerability from coming into play.
This can lead to problems in the relationship because the love avoidant does not feel supported by their partner and does not feel like they matter to them. This can be frustrating for both partners in a relationship because neither feels emotionally connected to the other. It also means that both partners can experience feelings of loneliness that can make them unhappy.
Love Addicts Often Experience Intense Ups and Downs in Their Relationships, Love Avoidants Typically Experience More Stable Feelings in Their Relationships
When love addicts are in a relationship, they experience intense highs because they’ve found someone who makes them feel like they can’t live without that person. But when things go downhill, they experience intense lows because they can’t imagine life without that person.
Love addicts are usually very emotional people, so they’re constantly going up and down with their feelings. This can make it very difficult for them to stay in one place for long periods because their feelings are constantly fluctuating.
The reason love avoidants typically experience more stable emotions in their relationships is that they can detach themselves from their partner when things get too intense or unstable – they don’t get as caught up in the drama of their partner’s behavior as love addicts do.
This doesn’t mean that love avoidants don’t feel emotions, but they usually have better control of their emotions than love addicts.
Love Addicts Tend to Idealize Their Partners, Love Avoidants Typically Do Not Idealize Their Partners to the Same Degree
Love addicts are people who strive for an idealized love relationship, often viewing their partner as an individual who is perfect for them. They may feel that they are “meant” for this person.
This can lead them to ignore red flags or even overlook serious flaws in the relationship. Love addicts often enter relationships with a high initial attraction, but over time this idealized view can fade as the relationship progresses and problems arise.
On the other hand, love avoidants typically do not idealize their partners as much as love addicts do because they are generally less interested in finding someone who fits perfectly into their lives.
Instead, they tend to look at relationships more realistically and focus on whether there is potential for success in the long run, rather than trying to find someone who perfectly fits what they want out of life at the moment.
Even though love avoidants may idealize their partners to some degree, they usually have a more realistic idea of who their partner is and what they can expect from the relationship in the long run. This helps them avoid disappointment or hurt later on.
Love Addicts Often Feel the Need to Be in a Relationship All the Time, Love Avoidants Are More Comfortable Being Single
Love addicts often feel the need to be in a relationship all the time because they believe they cannot function without having someone in their life who cares about them.
They may rely on emotional support from others and seek relationships where they can receive validation from their partner. When these relationships end, love addicts often feel lost and alone – even if they have other friends and family members around them.
In contrast, love avoidants are happy in their own company and don’t feel lonely when they aren’t with someone. They enjoy spending time alone and have learned to be themselves without needing a relationship for validation.
It’s also easier for them to find someone who wants to be with them when they want a relationship because they’re not desperate for love – they can focus on finding someone right for them instead of constantly worrying about whether they’ll end up alone (which many love addicts do).
Love Addicts Often Have Difficulty Communicating Effectively With Their Partners, Love Avoidants Typically Communicate Effectively With Their Partners
Love addicts often have difficulty communicating effectively with their partners. They are often so focused on themselves and their own feelings that they do not pay attention to how their partner is feeling.
This is because love addicts feel they need to be the center of attention, and they can not bear the thought of being ignored or not getting what they want. A love addict may also be afraid that their partner would leave them if they could express themselves clearly. They may believe that the other person does not understand them or just is not interested in what they have to say.
Love avoidants typically communicate effectively with their partners. They can be very clear about their needs and expectations and tend to express them directly. They often prefer a structured relationship to an open-ended one, so they find ways to make sure the relationship stays on track. This can be helpful for the partner who is more likely to worry about getting off track and falling out of love.
Love avoidants are also good at asking for what they want. They don’t have the same fear of abandonment as love addicts, so they aren’t afraid to ask their partner, or even themselves, for what they need – even if that means sometimes saying no or setting boundaries when it comes to how much time they spend together.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can an avoidant truly love?
When you’re in a relationship with someone avoidant, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that they don’t love you. If they did, wouldn’t they show it? Would they not spend time with you? Would they not talk about their feelings and act on those feelings?
While it’s true that an avoidant person may not show their love the way you would like them to, that doesn’t mean they don’t love you – or even that they don’t have feelings for you.
Avoidant people simply show their feelings in different ways than co-dependents (which is why co-dependents often feel that their avoidant partners are “emotionally distant” or “uncaring“).
The key is to figure out what these ways are and how to work with them instead of against them so that both parties get a better sense of where their relationship is headed.
How to break the cycle of love avoidance?
If you are in a relationship with a love avoidant, it can be challenging to break out of this cycle. This is because love avoidant has been conditioned to believe that they do not deserve the love and affection of others.
They may not feel worthy of it, or they may have experienced trauma in their past that has caused them to disconnect from their feelings. How can you break this cycle?
Understand that your partner is doing the best they can with what they know. They are probably struggling with their self-esteem, which is why they avoid being around other people in the first place.
They may also have been raised by people who taught them that feelings are bad and should be avoided at all costs. This makes it difficult for them to express themselves honestly, which leads to both parties feeling frustrated and misunderstood about each other’s needs over time.
Don’t take things personally! Your partner may not always say or do things in a way that makes sense to you right away because of how they were raised growing up or what happened in their past relationships before meeting you – so do not let their words or actions get under your skin.
Instead, try to understand where they are coming from and what they might need to feel more emotionally comfortable around you.
Communicate openly and honestly with each other about your feelings. This can be difficult for both of you, but it is important to remember that you are doing this together.
If something is bothering you, say it in a way that is not accusatory or threatening. This will help your partner feel more secure about expressing their own emotions to you as well.
Breaking the cycle of love avoidance takes time, patience, and understanding – but it is possible if both partners make an effort. If you are willing to make the effort, you can create a more emotionally intimate and satisfying relationship with each other.
What if my partner is a love addict?
If your partner is a love addict, you have probably noticed the signs. They may be constantly skipping plans with friends and family to be with their partner (without even realizing it).
They may also spend a lot of time and energy trying to save their relationship, even if they are not happy with it. If this is true of your partner, it’s important that you know what to do next.
If your partner is a love addict, then they will likely need serious help to recover from their addiction. While they might not acknowledge that they have a problem or ask for help, it’s important that you do everything in your power to get them the help they need.
Also, try to talk openly with them so that they can start thinking about how their actions are affecting others. If your partner is truly interested in recovery, they will eventually realize how their addiction is affecting those closest to them and be willing to seek help.
If you are in a relationship with a love addict, it is important that you take care of yourself first and foremost. This means setting boundaries with your partner and learning to say “no” when they try to push you into doing things you do not agree with.
It also means taking time for yourself to do things that make you happy without your partner always being there. Remember that you can not change or fix another person’s addiction – only they can do that.
However, by taking care of yourself and setting healthy boundaries, you can create an environment that supports your partner.
Can one be a love addict after being a love avoidant?
Yes! We can be in relationships where we were the love avoidant and then later became the love addict. It is possible to switch from one role to the other depending on the person you are with and the circumstances of the relationship.
If you are in a relationship with someone who you feel avoids intimacy and closeness, you are likely to become needier and desperately want them to love you back. When this happens, it’s easy to fall victim to addictive behavior patterns.
On the other hand, when you are with someone who does not seem to care at all about your feelings or needs, you easily become distant and inaccessible yourself. You may then feel that your partner does not appreciate what they have with you, or that they do not even realize how much work they have put in to make their life easier or better.
This can lead some people down an unhealthy path of self-pity and resentment towards their partner that may require professional help before things get out of control.
The most important thing to remember is that you are in control of your own emotions and behaviors. Just because you may have been a love avoidant in the past, or maybe currently playing that role in a relationship, does not mean you have to stay that way forever.
If you feel unhappy or unfulfilled in your current relationship, take a step back and assess what you may have contributed to the problem. Then take action to change things for the better. If you make an effort, you can overcome your avoidant patterns and create a more intimate and satisfying relationship with your partner.
Takeaway
Love addicts and love avoidants have different motivations for entering into a relationship. Love addicts are motivated by the need to feel loved and accepted, while love avoidants are motivated by the fear of being alone.
These motivations lead to different behaviors and coping mechanisms in relationships. Understanding the difference between these two types of people can help you better understand yourself and your romantic relationships.
