53 Questions to Ask a Divorce Mediator

Going through a divorce is tough. If you and your spouse are on good terms, you may be able to divorce amicably and without much drama. But even under the best of circumstances, divorce can be emotionally draining and stressful. That’s why more and more couples are choosing to mediate their divorce.

Mediation is a process in which a trained, neutral third party facilitates communication between the two parties to help them reach a mutually agreeable settlement. If you’re considering mediation, here are a few questions to help you.

53 Questions you should ask a divorce mediator before you begin the process:

  1. What’s your training and experience?
  2. What type of mediation do you specialize in?
  3. How many cases have you mediated?
  4. How long does the mediation process usually take?
  5. What are the benefits of mediation?
  6. What are the drawbacks of mediation?
  7. How does mediation work?
  8. What issues do we need to discuss during mediation?
  9. Can we bring our attorneys to the mediation sessions?
  10. Do we have to agree to mediation?
  11. What if we can’t agree on everything during mediation?
  12. What happens if we reach an impasse during mediation?
  13. How binding is the agreement that we reach during mediation?
  14. What if one party doesn’t want to mediate?
  15. How do I know if mediation is right for me?
  16. How do I choose a mediator?
  17. How much does mediation cost?
  18. How long will our sessions last?
  19. What are your cancelation policies?
  20. Can I get a list of references from other couples you’ve mediated for?
  21. How will you structure our sessions?
  22. What topics will we discuss in mediation?
  23. What forms will we need to fill out for our divorce?
  24. How confidential is the mediation?
  25. How many divorces have you mediated?
  26. What’s your success rate with couples mediating their divorce?
  27. Can we bring other advisers or family members to the sessions?
  28. Can we bring our children to mediation sessions?
  29. Are there conflicts of interest we should be aware of?
  30. Do you have experience mediating divorces involving minor children?
  31. Do you have experience mediating divorces involving complex financial situations?
  32. What is your approach to dealing with difficult emotions that may arise during mediation?
  33. Do you have liability insurance in case something goes wrong during the process?
  34. What’s your general approach to mediation?
  35. What are the biggest obstacles couples face during mediation?
  36. How do you handle disagreements between spouses?
  37. What are some common goals couples want to achieve through mediation?
  38. What signs indicate that mediation isn’t right for a couple?
  39. How should I prepare for my first meeting?
  40. How often will we need to meet?
  41. Do we need to meet in person or can we mediate via Skype or another video platform?
  42. Have you ever been a party to a lawsuit or arbitrated a case before?
  43. If so, how did that end up affecting your professional relationship with the parties involved?
  44. Are there any circumstances under which you would withdraw from mediating our case?
  45. How do I know if mediation is working or if we should consider another option like litigation?
  46. What should I bring to the mediation?
  47. How will our property be divided in mediation?
  48. How will our debts be divided in mediation?
  49. How will child custody and visitation rights be settled in mediation?
  50. How will child support be decided in mediation?
  51. Do you offer a free initial consultation?
  52. Can we mediate our own divorce without hiring an attorney?
  53. Do we need to hire separate attorneys?

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the disadvantages of mediation?

The disadvantages of mediation are that it’s often seen as a last resort, it can be expensive, and it can take a long time to resolve. Mediation is often seen as a last resort because both parties must be willing to participate for it to be effective. It can be expensive because the parties involved must pay for the mediator’s services. Finally, it can take a long time to solve because the mediator has to review all the evidence and try to come up with a solution that both parties can agree to.

What is the most difficult part of the mediation process?

The most difficult part of the mediation process is often finding common ground. Often, each party involved in mediation has their own idea of what they believe is fair and it can be difficult to reach an agreement. For mediation to be successful, both sides must be willing to compromise and work together. If one side is unwilling to budge, the process can become protracted and may ultimately fail.


If you’re considering mediation for your divorce, you should ask potential mediators these important questions. Because so much is at stake, you must understand the process and its implications before moving forward. When you have all the information you need, you can make the best decision for your situation.

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