47 Questions to Ask Adoptive Parents

Adoption is a beautiful thing. It’s a selfless act of love that provides a child in need with a family forever. Talking to your parents about your adoption is an important start to learning about your personal history and feeling connected to your family.

Here are a few questions to get the conversation started. Asking these questions will help you better understand not only your personal adoption story but also your parents’ motivations and perspectives.

47 Questions to ask your adoptive parents:

  1. Why did you decide to adopt?
  2. How did you decide what type of adoption to pursue?
  3. What led you to my birth family?
  4. Why did you choose to adopt me?
  5. What was the adoption process like?
  6. Do you have an open or closed adoption agreement?
  7. Who are the members of my birth family, and what do they look like?
  8. What’s my ethnic and racial background?
  9. What’s the history and culture of my birth country?
  10. What are the circumstances surrounding my birth and relinquishment?
  11. What medical information do I have, and what are the implications for my health and well-being?
  12. How will my adoption affect my relationship with you (my adoptive parents)?
  13. How will adoption affect my relationship with my siblings (if I have any)?
  14. How will adoption affect how I see myself?
  15. Will I ever meet my birth family? If so, when and how will that happen?
  16. How do you feel about contact with my birth family?
  17. What should I do if I want to search for my birth family?
  18. What should I do if someone from my birth family contacts me?
  19. Should I tell others that I’m adopted? If so, when is the best time to tell them?
  20. How will you support me if I decide to look for or contact my birth family?
  21. What should I do if I’m struggling with my adoption story?
  22. Where can I get more information or support about adoption?
  23. What are some of my favorite childhood memories?
  24. What challenges did you face as my parents?
  25. How did you overcome them?
  26. How has adoption shaped your parenting style?
  27. How has our relationship changed since I became an adult?
  28. Is there anything you wish you had done differently while raising me?
  29. What advice would you give to other adoptive families?
  30. What message would you like me to know about adoption?
  31. Do you think I’m different from other children because I’m adopted?
  32. Do you think I should meet my birth parents one day?
  33. Do you have any other adopted children? If so, can you tell me about them?
  34. What are your hopes and dreams for me?
  35. Why did my birth parents decide to give me up for adoption?
  36. What are the most important values you hope to instill in me?
  37. Was the adoption process expensive? If so, how did you finance it?
  38. Can you tell me about the day you received the call that your adoption placement was confirmed?
  39. What was it like meeting me for the first time?
  40. Do you have any photos or videos of me from when I was younger?
  41. How much contact do we have with my birth family?
  42. Was there anything surprising you learned about me after I came home?
  43. What was the hardest part about raising an adopted child?
  44. What’s the most rewarding part?
  45. What things make me unique as an adopted child? Are there any challenges that come with that uniqueness?
  46. How will our family handle situations where someone makes negative comments about adoption or adoptees in general?
  47. Will you always love me even if I’m not your biological child?

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you prepare for adoption?

Preparing for adoption can be an exciting and sometimes challenging process. There are many things you can do to prepare for this important transition. These include learning about different types of adoptions, preparing your home and family for the new arrival, and getting all the necessary legal and medical paperwork in order.

One of the most important steps in preparing for adoption is to talk to your family and friends about your plans. This will help you build a community of emotional support as you move toward adoption. Getting support from other adoptive families or adoption specialists can also be a great way to learn more about the process and get advice on what to expect.

The key to preparing for adoption is to be open and ready to embrace this exciting new chapter in your life. With the right mindset and a lot of preparation, you can approach this journey with confidence and optimism as you look forward to welcoming your new child into your family.

Why you should adopt a child?

Adopting a child is a wonderful way to make a difference in the life of an orphaned or abandoned child. By adopting, you’re giving these children the love and support they need to thrive and grow into happy, healthy adults.

By adopting, you can’t only provide much-needed care and support, but also give back to your community by advocating for family values and raising awareness about social issues such as child poverty and homelessness.

Whether you’re interested in local or international adoption, adopting a child comes with many benefits. So if you’re ready to become a parent and make a positive impact on the life of a child in need, consider adoption today.


Adoption is a beautiful but complicated journey. By asking yourself and your adoptive parent difficult questions, you can foster a more open and honest relationship that will help you navigate the ups and downs together. Remember, there are no wrong questions when it comes to adoption. Each adoptee’s experience is unique, so trust your gut and don’t be afraid to ask for help along the way.

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