A toxic relationship has unhealthy behavior patterns, just as an alcoholic has unhealthy drinking habits. It’s not just how you feel about someone, but how they treat you.
A person who’s in a toxic relationship may feel bad about themselves or their relationship and even blame themselves for those feelings.
It may be that they’re being abused or neglected in some way, physically or emotionally; it may be that they’re being abused by others close to them; it may be that they have been told that they need to change in order to make their partner happy; this can happen in friendships as well as romantic relationships.
If you feel in your life that you’re being treated poorly by someone close to you – whether through hurtful words or actions toward yourself or another person – it’s probably considered “toxic.”
Each person’s situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. However, there are some common reasons why people stay in toxic relationships.
Let’s take a closer look at some of them.
They Don’t Know That They’re in a Toxic Relationship
Many people don’t know when they’re in a toxic relationship. They may have never been in one before, so they don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like.
Even if they’ve been in a toxic relationship before, it can be hard to know when they’re getting into another one. Maybe their previous partners weren’t abusive or neglectful, but maybe they were selfish and demanding instead.
If you don’t know what healthy love looks like, chances are you’ll mistake abuse for affection or intimidation for respect. And because many forms of abuse are subtle at first – such as when someone is in denial about their experiences – it’s easy to miss the signs until it’s too late.
They May Feel Like They’re Trapped in a Cycle
The cycle of violence is a pattern that often occurs in abusive relationships. There are four stages in this cycle:
- The honeymoon phase. In this phase, they feel like they’re in a happy relationship with someone who makes them feel good.
- The tension-building phase. In this phase, the significant other becomes more irritable and may act more aggressively toward others or even toward their partner, but they still act like everything is fine when they are with others.
- The abusive incident happens during this period too (and it’s not always physical). Their partner might call them names or say mean things about their appearance or personality — things that make it seem like their actions aren’t abusive at all because they aren’t hitting anyone! It can be hard for someone who isn’t experiencing this kind of abuse to understand just how damaging those words can be because most people don’t talk down on other people with such frequency unless there’s something wrong going on inside their headspace that needs professional help.
- Then comes a quiet time when everything calms down for a while before a new round begins in which the same steps are repeated over and over again until one day you decide that enough is enough!
Due to Self-Blame
It’s natural to assume that if a person is in an unhealthy relationship, it’s their fault. They may blame themselves for staying in the relationship or not leaving it sooner.
Sometimes they even feel that they deserve their partner’s negative behavior because of something that happened in their past or because of how they were raised.
But no one deserves to be in a toxic relationship – and yet they happen every day all over the world. The toxic person is 100% responsible for their actions – no matter what caused them to become toxic or abusive.
When someone abuses their partner, it has nothing to do with what the abusee did or didn’t do; it has everything to do with the abuser!
Aside from staying trapped in fear and guilt, there are always other options – talk to friends/family members/counselors who can support and guide you through this decision-making process (e.g., therapists).
Due to Guilt/Obligation
Guilt is a natural human emotion that arises when a person in a toxic relationship believes they’ve done something wrong; however, it can sometimes be confused with shame or a sense of inadequacy.
Some people feel guilty when they leave an unhealthy relationship because they believe they are responsible for their partner’s happiness or well-being – and that leaving would hurt them.
They often think, “I’m not perfect either, but I’ve never given up on my partner like this.” Or, “It’s not fair to give up now when we’ve been through so much together.” Or even, “How could I abandon them in a time of need?”
If these thoughts sound familiar to you and your situation, chances are good that guilt is playing a role in keeping you stuck in your current situation.
Due to Shame
Shame is a normal feeling, but it can also be a powerful motivator for change. Sometimes people feel ashamed of being in an abusive or toxic relationship and want to do something good for themselves and their partner.
Because of this, it can be difficult for the person who feels shame to leave a toxic relationship. Even if they leave the relationship and try to move on with their life, the feeling of shame may still linger inside them and may cause mental health problems later, such as depression or anxiety.
The desire not to feel shame often leads people to return to toxic relationships because they don’t realize how harmful these types of relationships are to them or their children until it’s too late – or worse, they become a victim themselves!
If this applies to you or someone close to you, please speak up now before more damage is done!
Fear of Abandonment
Many people have been hurt by someone they love and have learned to cope with that pain by avoiding closeness to others because they fear rejection or become too dependent on others.
This fear can be a powerful motivating factor to stay in a relationship that’s not healthy or loving.
What is abandonment trauma?
The term “abandonment” may be used to describe two different types of experiences:
- The sudden separation from an important person- either through death or abandonment.
- A feeling of being rejected by a loved one who has left without saying goodbye- a situation sometimes called “psychological abandonment.”
People can experience both types of abandonment at any age when their primary caregiver dies when they’re young, when they’re left for another partner while still married or when someone they care about simply disappears without telling anyone where they are going.
The Fear of Being Alone Can Be a Powerful Trap
It’s a trap that keeps an abused person from letting go of bad relationships because they are afraid that if they do, no one will ever love them again.
In many cases, this fear is unfounded: there are plenty of people who are willing and able to love someone as great as them! But even if there weren’t – even if no one ever loved them again – what would be so wrong with that?
Fear of being alone is an irrational and harmful thought pattern, but it can also be incredibly powerful and difficult to break free of.
Depending on how severe their relationship problems are (or if they’re caused by other psychological factors), it’s wise to seek professional help to overcome these thoughts and behaviors so they no longer hold an abused person back from relationship happiness.
Fear of Being Judged by Others
The person is afraid of being judged by their family, friends, and society.
They don’t want to be criticized or ridiculed for staying in a toxic relationship. They are afraid that if they leave their partner, they will be blamed for the terrible situation that developed between them and made to feel that it was all their fault.
Many people are afraid of losing the respect of others if they stay alone after a bad relationship because our culture values marriage so highly.
Even though most people wouldn’t agree with an abused person when they say, “I stayed in an unhealthy relationship because I didn’t want to lose my friends” or “I stayed in an unhealthy relationship because I didn’t want my family to think I was damaged goods,” many people still believe that it’s better to stay in a bad situation than to risk being judged by society for ending things on your terms.
They’re Not Ready to Let Go
It’s easy to understand why this happens. After all, the relationship wasn’t always bad. It started great and was even positive and good at one point. Maybe it was the happiest relationship they’ve ever had!
That means letting go of their partner means giving up something good – that’s scary!
Even if their partner has turned into someone who no longer treats them well or makes them miserable regularly, it can be hard for people in toxic relationships because they aren’t ready to let go of the good times they shared with their partner (even if there weren’t many).
They Need to Feel Needed
We all want to feel needed. When a person is in a toxic relationship, feeling needed may be the reason they stay there, even if it feels bad.
When we are in love or close to someone, we want them to need us as much as we need them. That’s why a relationship where one person feels needed and the other doesn’t may cause so many problems.
The problem here is that their needs aren’t being met by the other person because their partner is focused on themselves.
They Grew up With an Abusive Parent
Our parents are our first role models. If someone grew up with one parent abusing the other, it’s easy to believe that this is how relationships work.
If their parents lived in a toxic relationship, they probably didn’t know any better either – and they may not have been able to teach their children how to have a healthy relationship.
Many people who grow up in abusive environments also don’t know what healthy relationships look like because they’ve never experienced them firsthand. This can make it hard for them to recognize when a partner is treating them poorly or controlling and manipulating them.
They Believe in the Commitment They’ve Made
They’re committed to their significant other and don’t want to break that commitment. They’ve promised to love each other always, to stay together forever, and to grow old together.
They believe these words mean something. They may have even gotten married or had a baby and now feel that there’s no way out of the relationship because they made the promise before God and everyone else at their wedding ceremony.
And as much as these things can be a reason for people to stay in toxic relationships, they aren’t good enough on their own.
If someone is toxic towards their partner or treats them badly regularly, it doesn’t matter if they are in love – they’re still not treating their partner well enough for their relationship to be healthy!
For the Sake of Their Children
In some cases, it’s not even about the couple or their relationship. Children can be a big reason to stay in a toxic relationship. Children need a stable home with two parents who love and care for them. Parents who fight all the time won’t be able to provide that for their children.
If a person decides to stay in an abusive relationship, think about what they’re teaching their children: that they shouldn’t stand up for themselves? That violence is okay as long as someone apologizes later? That a relationship should be abusive?
Their children are watching them and learning from their actions.
Fear of Change
It’s easy to understand why staying in a toxic relationship might be better than leaving it. The thought of having to change one’s entire life, make new friends, and find a new job is daunting at best.
If they’re used to being treated poorly by their partner or having no say in the relationship, it can be scary to get used to doing things differently.
But if a person who is in a toxic relationship has already decided that this person isn’t good for them – and if their spouse/partner is unwilling or unable to change their behavior – then there’s no reason for that person to stay with them any longer. They deserve better than that!
Due To Gaslighting
Gaslighting occurs when a person is psychologically manipulated by another person. Gaslighting is an insidious form of psychological abuse that can cause the victim to doubt their sanity, leading to feelings of fear and confusion.
This method of manipulation is often used to get victims to do things they wouldn’t normally do or feel uncomfortable doing, such as staying in an unhealthy relationship or continuing to work for an employer who treats them poorly.
Here’s what everyone needs to know about gaslighting:
- It’s a form of brainwashing that intentionally makes you doubt yourself and your perception of reality.
- It’s used as a defense mechanism against criticism or negative feedback by making it appear that other people are wrong or crazy.
- It’s about denying someone else’s perception and insisting that their perception is wrong while theirs is right.
They’ve Been Brainwashed Into Believing That They Deserve It
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone mean to you? Most people have. And many of us have stayed in those relationships because we were brainwashed into believing we deserved it.
The person abusing you probably used manipulative tactics and emotional abuse to wear down your self-confidence and make you feel like less than nothing.
This kind of behavior may feel familiar to those who were raised by parents who were themselves neglectful or abusive.
They’re Financially Dependent on Their Partner
If someone is in a toxic relationship, the first thing he or she should consider is whether they’re financially dependent on their partner. If they are, it can be incredibly difficult to leave the relationship.
They may be relying on their partner’s help to pay their bills and make ends meet. The reason could be financial abuse – when one person takes advantage of the other with money – or simply because their partner hasn’t been as responsible with their finances as they should have been.
If that’s the case for you, you should look for ways to become financially independent so you don’t have to worry about where your next paycheck will come from or how much it’ll cost when it ends with the two of you!
Their Family or Friends Support the Abuser
When someone is in a toxic relationship, the people around them can make it easier or harder to end the relationship. If family and friends support the relationship, they may give the abuser a pass by not addressing the problematic behavior.
However, if they don’t support the relationship and are supportive of the victim’s desire to leave, they may help the person stay afloat during difficult times.
Sometimes friends and family members also enable abusive relationships by excusing their behavior or excusing another person’s actions in an unhealthy way. “Oh, he/she’s just saying those things because he/she’s worried about our safety,” is one of the statements that can come up when discussing why someone should stay in an abusive relationship, or “We need him/her“.
This type of thinking only encourages victims to stay where they are instead of seeking help from others outside of their situation who can support them with no strings attached (i.e., no threat).
They Love Their Partner Despite the Abuse
If a person is in an abusive or toxic relationship and doesn’t know it, they may feel that their partner’s love for them is greater than their own. They may believe that they are the cause of the abuse or that everything would be okay if they’d just love their partner better.
But even if they recognize the abuse as such, that doesn’t necessarily help. If someone loves you and then suddenly snaps, how can you tell what’s going on?
It can be difficult to distinguish between love and abuse – and sometimes there isn’t much difference between the two at all!
In many cases of domestic violence and intimate partner violence (the terms “domestic” and “intimate partner violence” here refer to any relationship in which two people are romantically involved), the abuser apologizes after an assault:
- he/she may bring him/her flowers or take him/her out to dinner to apologize for hitting him/her earlier in the day
- he/she may shower him/her with compliments about how beautiful she or how handsome he looks when he/she gets home from work and looks tired
All of these things seem to be signs of affection – and yet they’re also part of his/her cycle of abuse: the abuser gets angry because he/she’s jealous/insecure/anxious (whatever emotion) about something seemingly trivial (or not so seemingly trivial).
They’ve Tried to Leave Before, but Have Returned
Some people find it hard to leave a relationship, even when they know it’s not good for them. Maybe they have tried to leave the relationship before, but they didn’t succeed.
It can be hard to leave a relationship you’ve been in for a long time, especially if you have children, live with them, or share an apartment. It’s also hard because most people see their home as a safe place and the person who hurt them is an extension of that sense of safety – the very thing they want to get away from.
Some People Believe That Their Partner Will Change
They may believe that their partner will change if they just try hard enough, but it’s important to understand that people don’t change because they want to. They only change when they have no other choice, and even then they often fall back into their old behavior.
If you’re in a relationship with someone toxic or abusive, you need to know that you cannot change him/her – even if he/she’s agreed to seek help.
If your partner says he/she wants support from friends and family members but doesn’t take advantage of that support, then he/she’s not ready for change.
It Feels Normal to Them
Another reason people stay in toxic relationships is that they’ve been in that environment for so long that it feels normal to them. This is called desensitization and is a common coping mechanism we use to deal with the stresses of life.
We see this every day on television, where characters who are hurt or abused don’t seem to realize what’s happening, even though we know it’s wrong and we can see it from our perspective as viewers.
Another reason people stay in toxic relationships is that their partner’s behavior has become so normal that they don’t realize how bad things are. Perhaps their partners are fooling them into thinking that everything is fine, even though major problems are lurking beneath the surface of their relationship.
They Don’t Know How to Get Help
The first step to getting help is knowing where to turn. If someone who is in a toxic relationship doesn’t know this, it’s probably because their partner has isolated them from other people and resources. That means they may have no idea what help looks like or how much of it you need.
The next step is to figure out what kind of help best fits the victim’s needs. There are many types of services: counseling, therapy, support groups (therapy), rape crisis centers and shelters (counseling), government benefits like food stamps and Medicaid/Medicare (medical care), etc.
But again, if their partner has been hiding them from everyone else, chances are they may want to get all these different benefits but not all at once.
And what’s worse, there’s nothing the victim can do about it either, because their toxic partner/spouse is always keeping an eye on everything anyway.
They Fear Their Partner’s Threats
These can be threats that they’ll hurt themselves or their children if their partner leaves them or even threats that they’ll hurt them or someone they care about.
They may also threaten to kidnap the children and prevent them from returning home (this is called “parental kidnapping”).
Others may think that this is an empty threat and that they could never hurt anyone – but it doesn’t matter whether they carry out their threat or not; by making it, the victim’s ex has made it clear how little respect he/she has for his/her partner’s family members.
Another common form of threat is violence against a family member or friend. These aren’t necessarily threats with real intentions behind them – the partner may just be imagining how much pain would be caused in his/her life if something were to happen to these very people.
Nevertheless, such threats can make someone feel very insecure in their relationship because they don’t know what violent acts might happen next time!
They Don’t Want to Lose Their Family or Friends
They may have built a strong support network in their current relationship – and that includes things like family, friends, and even the community around them.
Many people stay in toxic relationships because they don’t want to lose the sense of belonging in these areas of their lives.
It’s important to remember that it’s possible to maintain positive relationships with friends and family while you’re separating from your partner. Your loved ones don’t have to choose sides when one person separates from another – you can continue to be close to both parties without being romantically or sexually involved!
The Abuser Has Convinced Them That No One Else Will Have Them
If you’re in a toxic relationship and have been told that no one else wants you, it’s time to look at things differently. You’re smart, beautiful, and lovable – even if your partner doesn’t show it.
The truth is, there are thousands of people out there who could love you for exactly who you are. There’s someone out there who’d gladly take care of your heart for the rest of your life if only you’d let them.
If someone has talked you into believing that no one wants to be with you, now or in the future, it may feel like something impossible has happened: your self-esteem has been destroyed by someone else’s actions.
You may not see yourself now, but once you begin the changes, those negative thoughts will soon disappear as if they never existed.
They Don’t Have a Support System
You’ll find that many people who stay in toxic relationships have one thing in common: they have no support system. That’s because their abusive partner has isolated them from their family, friends, and other contacts like co-workers or church groups.
Abusers want to be the only ones their partners can rely on, so they make sure their victims are shielded from the outside world as much as possible.
If your friend or family member tells you about how badly they’re being treated by their significant other but doesn’t seem ready to leave them yet – especially if the person has been abused before – your first step could be to connect them with someone who will provide emotional support and help them reconnect with their support network (whether it’s family members or friends).
You may even want to encourage the person to talk to a pastor or other trusted person in the community who can help him/her figure out what steps to take next after he/she reports the abuse allegations through legal channels.
They Don’t Have the Resources to Go
They may not have a place to live, a job, or money – and if they don’t have those things, it’s hard to leave a relationship.
It could also mean they don’t have transportation: if they rely on their partner’s car to get somewhere (or if they can only walk), then leaving the relationship isn’t an option until they move out themselves.
It doesn’t even have to be something concrete – it can also be that a person doesn’t think they can afford housing on their own, so they can’t move out of the shared home with their abuser without having a safety net first.
Their Immigration Status Depends on Their Relationship With Their Abuser
If the victim leaves, it might be difficult for them to get another visa, or their abuser may use his/her power over them to blackmail their partner into staying with him/her. This type of situation is more common than most people think.
Example:
- Their visa is tied to their current relationship. If this is the case and they try to end the relationship, their partner/spouse might threaten to tell immigration authorities that they were never married or had some other type of legal relationship with them (even if this isn’t true). This would make it more difficult for them to get a new visa, and likely lead to deportation if they do manage to get one.
- They have no other family or support system in this country other than their partner/spouse or significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend/etc. who physically or mentally abuses them every day.
They May Have Been Conditioned by Society to Believe That Marriage Is for Life
We’ve all heard the saying, “Marriage is a lifelong commitment.” This could cause people to stay in toxic relationships much longer than they should. Marriage used to be an economic arrangement between families or clans and could involve many forms of abuse and neglect that we’d consider unacceptable today.
To some extent, society’s attitudes toward marriage have changed over time due to civil rights movements like feminism, but in many cultures around the world, there’s still a stigma against divorce and single parenthood.
This stigma makes it difficult for people who want to get out of their toxic relationships because they fear being judged by family members or colleagues if they’re single again – or worse, they fear losing custody of their children because they’re divorced!
Social Media Makes It Harder to End Relationships
Social media allows them to stay in touch with the person they were in a toxic relationship. They may feel the need to maintain that connection, even if it’s not healthy for them.
They may feel that their abuser is “harmless” because they’re no longer present in their lives. When they see on social media how happy they are and seem to have put their past behind them, it can be hard for the victim to accept that the relationship is over and to accept themselves as someone who’s been traumatized by the toxic relationship.
The Abusers Always Have an Explanation for Their Behavior
If you’re affected by their abusive behavior, abusers often offer an excuse for their behavior instead of providing a real explanation.
They may say something like, “I was drunk/stressed,” or “It wasn’t me, it was my medication!”
But those aren’t explanations. They don’t even come close to making sense and they don’t justify the bad behavior in any way – they only serve to make the person being abused feel bad instead of angry about what someone else did wrong!
A real explanation would be something that makes sense and lets you know exactly why the person behaved the way they did. An apology does none of these things – it justifies bad behavior without thinking about how it affects others (and usually makes no sense at all).
People Have Convinced Themselves That All Love Is Messy
It’s much easier to enter a relationship than to leave it. They think it’s normal for couples to fight and argue, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for their partner to physically abuse them or emotionally manipulate them to stay in the relationship.
It can take years for some people to realize that they’re in an abusive relationship because they’ve convinced themselves that all relationships are messy and dysfunctional – and that they’re therefore not allowed to judge what happens between them and their partner.
They’ve Invested Time and Emotional Energy in the Relationship
The more time you spend with someone and the more effort you put into a relationship, the harder it is to leave. You may have worked on your relationship for years, so leaving it behind feels like an admission of failure.
That’s why it’s so hard to escape toxic relationships. People who stay in toxic relationships not only feel emotionally invested in them, but they’ve also invested a lot of time and energy in them.
They’re Afraid of the Consequences
Another reason people stay in toxic relationships is that they’re afraid of the consequences.
These could be:
- Revenge from their partner who may try to hurt them or hurt another loved one.
- A suicide attempt by their partner in a possible attempt to get attention from others and/or make you feel guilty.
- Drug or alcohol overdose may kill them (and possibly you).
- Physical violence against you and/or your children – and often violence against pets!
They Don’t Want to Feel Like a Failure
This is a strong feeling that can make people do things that aren’t in their best interest. For example: staying with someone who makes them unhappy.
If they’re in an unhealthy relationship, the fear of failing may keep them from leaving. They may fear that if the relationship doesn’t work out, it’ll be seen as a failure on their part – a sign that perhaps there’s something wrong with them and not with the person or situation.
Or others may see it as proof that all relationships are doomed to fail, so why even try?
When we don’t want our efforts at something – be it a relationship or anything else – to be seen as fruitless and pointless, we tend not to evaluate our options with critical thinking and end up staying longer than necessary because we’re afraid of what people might think of us when they know how long we have struggled unsuccessfully!
Due to Emotional Dependency
Just as you can become physically dependent on a drug, you can also become emotionally dependent on someone else. This is a common problem for people in toxic relationships, as they often depend on their partner to make them feel good or make them happy with life in general.
Emotional dependency means that you rely on your partner for your happiness and emotional well-being instead of being able to rely on yourself.
It’s important to have healthy relationships with friends and family members, as well as romantic partners – but if you’re relying heavily on one person for all of these things, maybe it’s time to take a step back and rethink what’s going on between the two of you.
It can be difficult to move on from an unhealthy relationship – especially if the person who relies heavily on their partner has been doing so for a long time.
Due to Low Self-Esteem
People with low self-esteem may feel that they are not deserving of a healthy relationship and that their toxic partner is the only person who will love them.
Someone who has been in a toxic relationship can work on their self-esteem by surrounding themselves with positive people and practicing healthy habits like exercising, spending time outdoors, or meditating.
It can also help to talk about their feelings with a therapist or counselor, who can give them advice on how to improve their life without relying on the happiness or validation of others.
Also, if you or someone you know has low self-esteem and feels like no one wants you, there are many ways out of this situation: therapy sessions, support groups, online forums where people share their experiences with abuse, and even talking to someone close to you (a parent/friend/relative) about what’s going on in your life can be very helpful!
Due to Cultural Pressure
In some cultures and societies, women are expected to stay in a relationship no matter how they’re treated by their partners. For example, if your mother or father grew up in Afghanistan or other parts of Asia where arranged marriages are common, your parents might think it’s okay for you to be in an abusive marriage because that’s how it was back when they were growing up themselves!
They Think Things Will Improve Over Time
This can be a dangerous way of thinking. They may have succumbed to the hope that things will get better over time, but in reality, it may take years for that to happen.
In some cases, it’s not even possible for someone abusive or addicted to alcohol to change – and even if they eventually stop drinking, using drugs, or abusing, that doesn’t mean their relationship will get better overnight.
One bad behavior can replace another, and sometimes abusive people are manipulative.
They’re Afraid That No One Will Believe Them
They’re afraid that no one will believe them because the abuser is charming and personable in public.
The most dangerous thing about a narcissist is their ability to charm everyone around them, even when they’re abusing them. Narcissists are masters of manipulation and use guilt, blame, and shame to keep you in the relationship. In public they’re charming, but at home they’re demeaning – and they’ll make their partner believe that no one else will ever love them as they do.
The truth is that abuse can be subtle and hard to define. And abusers are often very good at hiding their true nature from others – even from people who know them well.
They may even have many friends who don’t know about their abuse and would be surprised to learn about it!
They’ve Idealized Their Partner
This happens when someone falls in love and starts idealizing the other person, believing that they can do no wrong, and are blind to all their negative qualities because they’re so blinded by love.
It’s normal for people to want to see the good in their partner, but if they start to see only the good qualities in their partner and ignore everything negative about him/her, then this could be an indication that they are idealizing him/her.
They Haven’t Accepted That Abuse Is a Choice
When you’re in a toxic relationship, it can be hard to realize that your partner’s abusive behavior is a choice. That’s because they’re often very good at making it seem like their behavior is out of their control.
They may apologize and say things like “I can’t help it” or “I’m sorry I hurt you, but it’s not my fault! You should know that I don’t mean that; I just get angry sometimes!“
But no matter what the abuser says about why they’re behaving badly (and why you should stay), it’s important to remember that abuse is always a choice.
Sometimes abusers themselves were abused as children and learned how to treat people badly from their parents – but that doesn’t change the fact that every time an abuser chooses to use force or manipulate someone into doing what they want (e.g., staying in the relationship), that person has made a conscious choice about how they want to treat others.
The victim isn’t responsible for the perpetrator’s actions, nor does being abused mean there’s something wrong with him/her personally.
As long as victims remain stuck in patterns where abusers constantly hurt them physically and emotionally, nothing will change because nothing will improve unless both parties change – and if victims continue to blame themselves instead of focusing on changing these unhealthy relationships so they can start over somewhere else.
Society May Often Fail the Survivors of Toxic Relationships
Society may often fail survivors of toxic relationships by:
- Blaming the victim
- Asking them why they didn’t leave sooner
- Telling them to do what makes them happy
- Telling them it’s their problem
- Telling them to just leave
Stop doing that. Instead, consider offering support and encouragement to help survivors get out of toxic relationships faster.
They’re Focusing On Their Partner’s Positive Qualities
When it comes to toxic relationships, people tend to focus on their partner’s positive qualities. They may even overlook their partner’s weaknesses and see them as a good match.
This can be a dangerous tactic – a person who’s abusing or controlling will often use this tendency against you (and many other people), being nice when they need something from you, and then hitting back as soon as you give it to them.
When someone decides to stay in an unhealthy relationship because of their partner’s good qualities, it’s easy for others around them to judge them harshly.
But not everyone has the benefit of hindsight when making these decisions – and sometimes people need help figuring out that what they are doing is wrong and unhealthy for them before they make an effort to change.
Feeling Responsible for His/Her Partner’s Happiness
Feeling responsible for your partner’s happiness may lead to depression and an unhealthy relationship.
There’s a difference between feeling like it’s your job to make your partner happy and feeling like you’re personally responsible for his/her happiness. The former is healthy, the latter isn’t.
When you feel responsible for your partner’s happiness, you feel like it’s your job to make them happy, even if that means doing things that aren’t necessarily good for you or going against what makes you happy to please them.
This way of thinking may lead to serious problems in relationships, both romantic and platonic: you may start neglecting other relationships or losing touch with friends because they aren’t as important as making sure your toxic partner feels loved (or at least heard).
What Are Some of the Consequences of Staying in a Toxic Relationship?
Some of the most common consequences of remaining in a toxic relationship are:
Physical Health Problems
Toxic relationships may lead to headaches, insomnia, and other stress-related problems. They may also lead to frequent colds and infections because they lower the efficiency of your immune system. The problem is that you may not realize how much you need to end the relationship with this person until it’s too late. If you notice signs of depression or anxiety in yourself or someone you care about – especially if these symptoms don’t seem to go away – it may be time to see a professional therapist who specializes in treating toxic relationships.
Mental Health Problems
Depression or anxiety disorders may often develop when you’re exposed to abusive behavior over an extended period (months or even years). These symptoms vary depending on severity; some people experience only mild stress reactions, while others may show signs of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If left untreated, they may last a long time and may lead to more serious problems like PTSD. That’s why it’s important to seek professional advice!
How Do You Know if You Are in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?
Emotional abuse is a form of psychological violence that is sometimes harder to recognize than physical abuse. The signs of emotional abuse are often masked by not being as obvious as bruises or cuts, but they can be just as damaging over time.
Emotional abuse may include:
- Name-calling and insults
- Isolation from friends and family members
- Unreasonable jealousy or accusations that you’re being unfaithful
- Threats of suicide or self-harm if you don’t comply with his or her wishes
If you think your relationship may be abusive, talk to someone who can help you with this whether it’s a friend, family member, or professional counselor. You deserve an authentic relationship with another person that’s free from fear and manipulation.
Conclusion
There are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships and the good news is there is help available. You or someone you know can seek professional help, ask your family and friends for support, or reach out to a local support group.
If nothing else, this article should have shown you how common these types of relationships can be so that hopefully your eyes will be opened to them when they happen around you. Remember, no one deserves to be treated badly.
Thanks for reading!
