45 Questions to Ask After a Breakup

We’ve all been there. The ache in your chest, the lump in your throat, the burning in your eyes. You try to force yourself to stop thinking about them, but they’re always there, just at the corner of your vision. You go about your day by day, but nothing feels the same. You know you have to move on, but you just can’t let go.

If this sounds like you, then it’s time to ask yourself some tough questions. Depending on the situation, a breakup can be one of the hardest things to deal with. But don’t worry, we’re here to help you out. Below you’ll find questions you can use. Answering these honestly will help you gain closure and begin to move on with your life.

45 Questions you should ask yourself after a breakup:

  1. Why did the relationship end?
  2. What were the signs that it was time to break up?
  3. What did you do wrong in the relationship?
  4. What could you have done differently?
  5. How do you feel about yourself now that the relationship is over?
  6. Do you still love your ex?
  7. How has the breakup changed you?
  8. What kind of person do you want to be in your next relationship?
  9. Do you need some time for yourself before you start dating again?
  10. How has the breakup affected you emotionally?
  11. How has the breakup affected you physically?
  12. What were your favorite things about the relationship?
  13. What were your least favorite things about the relationship?
  14. What did you learn about yourself in this relationship?
  15. Did this relationship help you grow, or did it hold you back?
  16. Did you feel that you could be yourself with this person?
  17. Did this person make you feel appreciated and loved?
  18. Were you always honest with this person? If not, why not?
  19. Did we have similar interests and values? If not, what caused disagreements between us?
  20. Were you ever afraid of this person? If yes, why?
  21. Did you feel you could trust this person? If not, why not?
  22. What did this person do that hurt you? Why did it hurt you so much?
  23. What did you do that hurt this person? Why did it hurt them so much?
  24. Is there anything you would have done differently in this relationship if given the chance?
  25. Would you want to be friends with this person again someday? If not, why not?
  26. What kind of partner do you want moving forward?
  27. What qualities are you looking for in a relationship?
  28. What kind of support do you need right now?
  29. Who can you talk to about what you’re going through?
  30. What activities can help you cope with the breakup?
  31. What are your “deal breakers” for future relationships?
  32. What are your needs and wants in a relationship?
  33. How can you communicate these needs and wants to your partner?
  34. How can you be more assertive in future relationships?
  35. How can you set boundaries in future relationships?
  36. What is your definition of a healthy relationship?
  37. What red flags should you be aware of in future relationships?
  38. How can you trust yourself to make good choices about who you date?
  39. Have you been able to forgive yourself for the mistakes you may have made during the relationship?
  40. Have you been able to forgive your ex for any hurt they may have caused you?
  41. What are your biggest fears and worries after the breakup?
  42. How do you want your next relationship to be different from your last?
  43. What are the things you need to work on before you start a new relationship?
  44. What have you learned about love and relationships from this breakup?
  45. How can you become a better partner in future relationships?

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the 5 stages of a breakup?

The five stages of a breakup are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Denial is when you refuse to believe the relationship is over. Anger is when you’re mad at your ex for breaking up with you. Bargaining is when you try to get your ex back by making deals or promises. Depression is when you feel sad and lonely without your ex(s). Acceptance is when you come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over and you’re moving on.

Should you ask for your things back after a breakup?

On the one hand, asking for your things back can be seen as an act of closure and it can help you put the relationship behind you. On the other hand, asking for your things back can also be seen as an act of desperation and prolong the healing process.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether or not to ask for your things back after a breakup. If you do decide to ask for your things back, make sure you do so in a respectful way. Be clear about what you want, and don’t be afraid to negotiate. And most importantly, be prepared for the possibility that your ex may not want to give you your things back.


No matter how you ended things, a breakup is never easy. You spent time with this person and shared a part of your life with them. It’s only natural that you need time to grieve and process what happened.

By answering the questions above, you can begin to understand your role in the breakup and figure out what you want for the future. Even if it doesn’t seem like it now, there’s someone out there who’s perfect for you. So don’t give up hope and keep moving forward until you find them.

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