34 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged

Deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone is a big decision! No matter how well you think you know your partner, there will always be things that come up after getting married that you never thought of before. To help you be as prepared as possible, we’ve put together a list of questions you should ask before you get engaged.

17 Questions you should ask each other before you get engaged:

  1. What are your thoughts on having children? When would you like to start a family?
  2. How do you feel about religious differences? Are you willing to raise your children with another religion? 
  3. Do you have any ex-partners that I should know about? 
  4. What kind of relationship did you have with your parents growing up? Is there anything I should know about them? 
  5. Will we keep our money separate or combine everything? 
  6. Do you have any allergies or medical conditions I should know about? 
  7. What are your thoughts on a prenuptial agreement? 
  8. Do you want to live in the city or a suburb? Would you ever consider moving to another state or even out of the country? 
  9. Do you have pets now or did you grow up with pets? Would you like to get a pet once we are married? 
  10. Do either of us have any secret vices like smoking cigarettes or gambling that the other does not know about? 
  11. What kind of wedding did you envision when you were younger – big and extravagant or small and intimate? 
  12. Would you like to take my last name or hyphenate our last names? 
  13. How do you deal with disagreements – are they something that can be talked through calmly, or do they tend to escalate quickly into an argument? 
  14. What kind of lifestyle do you envision for us – do we want to be homebodies or social butterflies, jet setters, or homebodies? 
  15. Will both of us continue working after we get married or does one of us want to stay home (if so, who?)?
  16. What combination of family values was taught when you’re growing up?
  17. How were finances handled when you were growing up?

17 Questions you can ask yourself before getting engaged:

  1. How well do we know each other?
  2. Do we want the same things in life?
  3. Are we financially compatible?
  4. Can we communicate well?
  5. Do we trust each other?
  6. Do we imagine getting married?
  7. Do we have compatible goals for the future?
  8. Do we share the same values?
  9. Do I have any deal-breakers?
  10. How will we make time for each other in a relationship?
  11. What are my professional goals? Do they align with those of my partner?
  12. Where do I see myself in 5 years? In 10 years? In 15 years? In 20 years?
  13. Does my partner have the same desires for the future as I do?
  14. Do we support each other’s dreams?
  15. How much time do we want to spend together?
  16. How much time do we want to spend apart?
  17. Do we have issues in our relationship that we need to resolve before we get married?

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should a couple be dating before getting engaged?

There is no one answer to the question of how long a couple should be dating before getting engaged. Some couples may be ready to get married after just a few months, while others may want to wait several years. The important thing is that the couple is ready and willing to commit to each other. If they can communicate openly and honestly with each other, and both are committed to making the relationship work, then they are likely ready to marry.

How do you know you’re ready for marriage?

There is no one answer to this question, as each person has a different definition of readiness. However, there are a few things to consider when trying to figure out if you’re ready for marriage. Firstly, are you both emotionally and financially stable? Marriage is a big commitment, and you must be both in a good place mentally and financially before you take the plunge.

Second, do you have similar values and goals? If you disagree on important things like religion, finances, or children, your marriage probably won’t go well. Finally, do you have a strong support system? Marriage is hard work, and it’s important to have people who will be there for you during the good times and the bad. If you can answer “yes” to all of these questions, then you’re probably ready for marriage.

Is it normal to have doubts before getting engaged?

When thinking about getting engaged, it is normal to have doubts. It is a big decision, and it is important to ensure you are ready. There are many things to consider, such as whether you are ready to commit to someone for the rest of your life. If you feel unsure, take some time to think about it. Talk to your partner and ask them if they feel the same way. If you still have doubts, it may be best to wait until you are sure. Getting engaged is a big step and should not be taken lightly.


Asking yourself these questions now can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts down the road. It’s also important, to be honest with each other from the beginning.

If you’re not on the same page about something now, getting engaged isn’t going to change that fact. Think carefully about whether you’re ready to take this step and don’t hesitate to ask a trusted friend or family member to help you decide!

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