Moving in together is a big step in any relationship and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you’re thinking about taking that next step with your partner, congratulations!
There are many things to consider before you decide to move in together, and you and your partner must be on the same page about your relationship, your finances, and your expectations for living together. To make sure you’re on the same page, ask yourselves the following questions.
39 Questions to ask each other before you pack your boxes and move in together:
- Do we both want to live together?
- What are our reasons for wanting to live together?
- What are our long-term relationship goals?
- Do we trust each other?
- How will we handle groceries and cooking?
- Who will be responsible for which bills?
- How often will we have time for alone time/me time?
- What happens if one of us wants to move?
- What are our expectations for communication?
- How often do we want to check in with each other during the day?
- What is our plan for decision-making?
- What is important for each of us when it comes to alone time/me time?
- What are our expectations for sex and intimacy?
- What do we think about sharing space with pets?
- What do we think about overnight guests?
- Are our schedules compatible?
- Do we have common interests outside the relationship?
- What are our career goals and how will they impact our living situation?
- What are our financial expectations and limits?
- What happens if one person wants children and the other doesn’t?
- Are there topics that are off-limits for discussion?
- Do we feel comfortable communicating openly and honestly with each other?
- What’s our definition of “a clean home“?
- Do we share similar values and life experiences?
- What is our financial situation?
- How much time does each person like to spend at home versus out and about?
- What would happen if a person got a job that required them to relocate?
- Is there anything either person is not willing to compromise on?
- Do either of you have any major shopping habits (online shopping, new clothes every season, etc.) that need to be considered when setting a budget?
- What are each of your must-haves when it comes to finding a place to live together (location, size of place, amenities offered by complex/neighborhood)?
- How would you both handle disagreements about finances?
- How would you both handle disagreements about housekeeping?
- What are each person’s thoughts on sharing possessions (e.g., furniture, dishes)?
- What are our religious beliefs and how do they influence our decision to live together?
- What are our political beliefs and how do they affect our decision to live together?
- Do any of us have any allergies or medical conditions that need to be considered?
- How long do we want to live together?
- Have we considered all the pros and cons of moving in together before making a decision?
- Are we both prepared to sign a lease or purchase a home together?
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the benefits of moving in together?
The benefits of moving in together before marriage can be summed up in three words: communication, trust, and commitment.
When you live together, you learn how to communicate effectively, you learn to trust each other unconditionally, and you develop a deeper commitment to your relationship.
How long should you be dating before you move in together?
There’s no right answer to this question. Some couples move in together after just a few months of dating, while others wait years.
The most important thing is that you and your partner are ready and willing to take on the commitment of living together
Is it normal to have doubts before moving in together?
It’s normal to have doubts before moving in together. It would be strange if someone didn’t have any doubts at all.
Moving in with someone is a big step and it’s important to make sure both parties are on the same page. Before you make a decision, you should sit down and talk about your expectations for the relationship.
Can moving in together ruin a relationship?
It depends on the couple. For some couples, cohabitation can lead to greater intimacy and a closer relationship. For others, it can lead to arguments and resentment. If the couple is not ready to live together, or if they are not compatible, moving in together can definitely cause problems in the relationship.
Moving in with your partner is a big decision – one that will undoubtedly change the dynamics of your relationship in some way. If you’re still on the fence about taking the plunge, sit down with your partner and go through this list of questions together.
Make sure you’re both ready by communicating openly and honestly with each other about everything from cleanliness expectations to future financial plans. This will help you get clarity on whether it’s the right time for both of you to move, literally!
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