120 Questions to Ask Before Moving in Together

Moving in together is a big step in any relationship and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you’re thinking about taking that next step with your partner, congratulations!

There are many things to consider before you decide to move in together, and you and your partner must be on the same page about your relationship, your finances, and your expectations for living together. So before making the move, discuss this set of questions first to ensure you’re both on the same track.

Financial Understanding

  1. How will we split the rent or mortgage payments?
  2. Should we open a joint account for household expenses?
  3. How will we handle personal debts and savings?
  4. Do we have a budget for monthly expenses?
  5. How will we manage unexpected financial emergencies?
  6. Are we going to split the cost of new furniture or appliances?
  7. Will we set aside money for future investments or purchases?
  8. How will we handle financial contributions if one of us earns significantly more?
  9. Should we have a financial advisor or someone to help manage our joint finances?
  10. How do we plan to save for holidays, vacations, or other leisure activities?

Household Responsibilities

  1. How will household chores be divided?
  2. Who is responsible for grocery shopping and meal preparations?
  3. How often should we do a deep clean of our shared spaces?
  4. What is our plan for laundry and ironing responsibilities?
  5. How will we handle repairs or maintenance issues?
  6. Do we hire help for any household tasks, such as cleaning or gardening?
  7. How do we handle technology setups and issues in our home?
  8. What is our policy on hosting friends and family?
  9. How do we feel about pets in the household?
  10. Will we create a schedule for shared responsibilities or play it by ear?

Personal Space and Boundaries

  1. How much personal time do each of us need?
  2. What does personal space look like for us in our new home?
  3. How will we manage work-from-home spaces if needed?
  4. What are our boundaries regarding personal items and privacy?
  5. How will we accommodate each other’s hobbies and interests within our home?
  6. What are the ground rules for inviting guests over?
  7. How do we approach quiet times or do-not-disturb hours?
  8. Are there specific areas of our home that are designated ‘private’?
  9. How will we communicate when we need space without causing offense?
  10. What are our thoughts on personal decorations and belongings in shared spaces?

Future Planning and Goals

  1. Where do we see ourselves living in the next five years?
  2. Are we moving in as a step towards marriage or a long-term commitment?
  3. How will we handle it if one of us has to move for a job?
  4. What are our long-term financial goals as a couple?
  5. How does moving in together fit into our career and education plans?
  6. Do we have intentions to purchase property together eventually?
  7. How will we handle possible future separations or breakups?
  8. Are children in our future, and how does that affect our living situation?
  9. How will we make decisions about significant life changes and opportunities?
  10. Are we ready to commit to the daily routine of living together long-term?

Lifestyle and Habits

  1. What are our work schedules like, and how will that impact our living situation?
  2. How do we handle routines like morning and nighttime?
  3. Are there any lifestyle habits we should discuss, such as diet or exercise?
  4. How will we manage social activities and hobbies?
  5. Do we have quiet or loud pastimes that might need to be managed?
  6. How do we approach cleanliness and tidiness in our living space?
  7. What are our views on alcohol, smoking, or other substances in the home?
  8. How do we feel about screen time and the use of electronics?
  9. Will we share or have separate groceries and meal plans?
  10. How do we deal with stress and unwind individually?

Conflict Resolution

  1. How do we currently handle disagreements, and how can we improve on this?
  2. What strategies can we use to ensure conflicts don’t escalate?
  3. In which areas are we most likely to disagree, and how can we preemptively address these?
  4. How will we communicate our frustrations in a healthy way?
  5. Will we establish a system or rules to manage conflicts when they arise?
  6. How do we ensure that both of our voices are heard and respected?
  7. Do we want to set periodic check-ins to discuss our relationship and household?
  8. How do we apologize and make amends when one of us has made a mistake?
  9. What role does forgiveness play in our conflict resolution?
  10. Are we open to seeking outside help, such as couples counseling, if needed?

Legal and Formal Considerations

  1. Should we have a cohabitation agreement in place?
  2. What happens to the lease or mortgage if our relationship ends?
  3. How will we divide co-purchased items if we separate?
  4. Do we need to update any legal documents, such as wills or emergency contacts?
  5. How will we manage health insurance or other benefits if applicable?
  6. Who is responsible for the end-of-lease responsibilities and damages?
  7. How will we decide on any home improvements or alterations?
  8. Should we have written agreements concerning any loans or debts taken jointly?
  9. What protections do we need to ensure our individual financial security?
  10. Do we understand the tax implications of living together?

Communication Expectations

  1. How often should we have check-ins about our relationship and household?
  2. What is our preferred method of communication for different types of news or events?
  3. How will we ensure we’re making time for quality conversations?
  4. Are we comfortable discussing our personal issues with each other?
  5. In what circumstances should we prioritize communication with each other?
  6. How will we maintain open and honest communication on a daily basis?
  7. What topics do we consider to be sensitive, and how should they be approached?
  8. Will we set aside time for relationship building and maintenance?
  9. How do we communicate boundaries regarding technology use, such as phones during meals or dates?
  10. How will we handle communication when one of us is away from home for work or travel?

Relationship Expectations

  1. What are our expectations for romance and intimacy after moving in?
  2. How will living together change our current relationship dynamics?
  3. Are there new expectations we need to set regarding date nights and alone time?
  4. How do we ensure that moving in together strengthens rather than strains our relationship?
  5. What does commitment look like for us in this new chapter?
  6. How do we balance individual growth with the growth of our relationship?
  7. What are our expectations regarding fidelity and trust?
  8. How can we maintain spontaneity and excitement in our relationship?
  9. What daily gestures do we expect from each other to show love and appreciation?
  10. How will we keep our relationship healthy and avoid taking each other for granted?

Family and Friends Dynamics

  1. How often do we expect family and friends to visit us?
  2. Will we have specific boundaries regarding overnight guests?
  3. How do we plan to split our time during holidays and special events?
  4. How do we handle any conflicts involving family or friends?
  5. What role will our families play in our decision-making as a couple?
  6. How can we support each other during familial issues or obligations?
  7. How do we split responsibilities when hosting gatherings?
  8. How do we ensure that both sets of friends feel welcome in our home?
  9. What are our expectations about blending our social circles?
  10. Are there any traditions or expectations from the family that we need to discuss?

Emergency Preparedness

  1. Do we have a plan for medical emergencies?
  2. How will we manage a situation if one of us loses a job or faces financial hardship?
  3. Are we prepared for unexpected home emergencies, like a power outage or natural disaster?
  4. Who will take the lead in urgent situations if one of us is unavailable?
  5. Do we have an emergency contact list, and have we informed these contacts?
  6. What are our backup plans for critical services (e.g., childcare, eldercare)?
  7. How will we ensure that we have the necessary supplies for an emergency?
  8. Have we discussed an evacuation or meeting plan in case of a disaster?
  9. Will we maintain or create an emergency fund, and how much should it contain?
  10. How do we communicate with each other in times when communication networks are down?

Personal Beliefs and Values

  1. How do our core values align, and where might there be differences?
  2. Do we have any religious or spiritual practices that need to be discussed?
  3. How will we respect each other’s beliefs in our shared home?
  4. Are there any cultural traditions that we need to integrate or accommodate?
  5. How do we plan to address moral or ethical dilemmas as a couple?
  6. What political or social issues are important to us, and how do we engage in dialogue about them?
  7. How do we plan to handle the influence of values and beliefs on future children?
  8. Are there lifestyle choices that are non-negotiable for either of us?
  9. How will we handle situations where our values may be challenged?
  10. Is there room for growth or change in our beliefs, and if so, how will we navigate that?

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the benefits of moving in together?

The benefits of moving in together before marriage can be summed up in three words: communication, trust, and commitment.

When you live together, you learn how to communicate effectively, you learn to trust each other unconditionally, and you develop a deeper commitment to your relationship.

How long should you be dating before you move in together?

There’s no correct answer to this question. Some couples move in together after just a few months of dating, while others wait years.

The most important thing is that you and your partner are ready and willing to commit to living together.

Is it normal to have doubts before moving in together?

It’s normal to have doubts before moving in together. It would be strange if someone didn’t have any doubts at all.

Moving in with someone is a big step and it’s important to make sure both parties are on the same page. Before you make a decision, you should sit down and talk about your expectations for the relationship.

Can moving in together ruin a relationship?

It depends on the couple. For some couples, cohabitation can lead to greater intimacy and a closer relationship. For others, it can lead to arguments and resentment. If the couple is not ready to live together, or if they are not compatible, moving in together can definitely cause problems in the relationship.

Final Thoughts

Moving in with your partner is a big decision—one that will undoubtedly change the dynamics of your relationship in some way. If you’re still on the fence about taking the plunge, this list will come in handy.

Make sure you’re both ready by communicating openly and honestly with each other about everything from cleanliness expectations to future financial plans. This will help you get clarity on whether it’s the right time for both of you to move, literally!

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Jessa Claire is a registered healthcare provider. Music lover. Daydreamer. Thalassophile. Foodie. A hardworking Capricorn. Most days, an incurable empath. An old soul. Down-to-earth. Vibrant. When she's not writing, she can be seen relaxing with headphones on or engrossed in her favorite fan fiction book.