80 Questions to Ask During Courtship

Before you get into a serious relationship, it’s important that you’re on the same page about some important things.

This list of questions will serve as a guide during your courtship phase. By asking your partner these questions, you’ll get a better sense of who they are, what they want, and whether the two of you are a good match!

Personal Values and Beliefs

  1. What are the core values that you live by?
  2. How important is religion or spirituality in your life?
  3. What are your thoughts on honesty and integrity?
  4. What is your stance on issues like gender equality and human rights?
  5. How do you define success?
  6. What beliefs do you hold that you would never compromise on?
  7. In what ways do you think personal growth is important?
  8. Can you tell me about a personal experience that shaped your values significantly?
  9. How do you handle differing opinions with someone you care about?
  10. What role does empathy play in your relationships with others?

Family and Background

  1. Can you share some of your favorite childhood memories?
  2. How close are you with your family members?
  3. What traditions from your family would you like to continue?
  4. How has your upbringing influenced the person you are today?
  5. What’s an important lesson you learned from your parents or guardians?
  6. How do you feel about starting a family of your own?
  7. What are your thoughts on parenting styles and family dynamics?
  8. How would you handle disagreements within the family?
  9. What does family support mean to you during difficult times?
  10. Are there any family responsibilities that you currently have or anticipate in the future?

Future Goals and Aspirations

  1. Where do you see yourself in five years?
  2. What are your long-term career aspirations?
  3. How do you plan to achieve your most important goals?
  4. What does a fulfilling life look like to you?
  5. How important is it to have a work-life balance for you?
  6. Is there something you’re currently working towards that excites you?
  7. What dream have you always had but haven’t pursued yet?
  8. How do you measure personal or professional success?
  9. What role would a partner play in achieving your future goals?
  10. Are there any goals you have that might require significant sacrifice from both of us?

Interests and Hobbies

  1. What hobbies or activities do you enjoy in your free time?
  2. Are there any new skills or hobbies you’d like to learn?
  3. What’s the last book you read that you really enjoyed?
  4. Do you prefer any particular art forms, such as music, films, or theater?
  5. How do you feel about outdoor activities versus staying in?
  6. What kinds of events or festivals excite you the most?
  7. How do you like to relax and unwind after a long week?
  8. Can you share an interest you have that I might find surprising?
  9. How important is it that your partner shares some of your interests?
  10. Is there an experience you’ve always wanted to share with a partner?

Communication and Conflict Resolution

  1. How do you prefer to communicate your feelings?
  2. What’s your approach to resolving disagreements?
  3. Can you describe a time when you effectively resolved a conflict?
  4. How do you deal with criticism or feedback?
  5. What are your thoughts on the importance of compromise in a relationship?
  6. What do you think is the key to maintaining open and honest communication?
  7. How do you express affection and appreciation towards others?
  8. Is there anything that’s particularly challenging for you to talk about?
  9. What strategies do you use to calm down when you’re upset?
  10. How can a partner best support you when you’re dealing with a problem?

Relationship Expectations

  1. What qualities do you think are most important in a partner?
  2. What type of relationship are you looking for at this point in your life?
  3. How do you show love and affection in a relationship?
  4. What boundaries are important for you to maintain in a relationship?
  5. What does commitment mean to you?
  6. How do you balance personal independence with a committed relationship?
  7. What do you consider deal-breakers in a relationship?
  8. How do you see the role of in-laws or extended family in your relationship?
  9. How important is constant communication and checking in with your partner?
  10. What are your expectations when it comes to time spent together and apart?

Finances and Lifestyle

  1. How do you manage your finances, and what are your priorities in spending?
  2. What’s your viewpoint on saving versus enjoying the moment financially?
  3. How do you feel about budgeting and financial planning?
  4. In what way might our lifestyles need to be adjusted to align with joint financial goals?
  5. What are your thoughts on shared versus separate bank accounts in a marriage?
  6. How would you approach a financial crisis in the relationship?
  7. Do you have any long-term financial goals like owning a home?
  8. How do you feel about investing, and do you have experience with it?
  9. Where does travel fit into your financial planning?
  10. How would you balance financial responsibilities in a partnership?

Health and Well-Being

  1. How do you prioritize your health and fitness?
  2. Are there any health issues that you think a partner should be aware of?
  3. What are your habits when it comes to diet and exercise?
  4. How do you deal with stress and maintain mental well-being?
  5. How important is it for you to have self-care routines?
  6. Do you have regular health check-ups?
  7. How do you feel about mental health, and have you ever sought therapy?
  8. How do you support a partner during times of illness or health challenges?
  9. Are there any health-related goals you’re currently working towards?
  10. What role does health consciousness play in your day-to-day life?

Frequently Asked Questions

What should you avoid during courtship?

First and foremost, you should avoid anything that could be perceived as rude or disrespectful. This includes things like making fun of your date, speaking badly about them to others, or acting presumptuously. Also, try not to pressure your partner into doing something he or she doesn’t agree with. If he or she’s not ready for physical intimacy, don’t force the issue.

How long should courtship last?

Courtship has no strict timeline; it varies per couple. It should last until both people feel confident they understand each other and want to commit.

However, it is also important not to drag things out unnecessarily, as this can lead to frustration and disappointment.

How do I start a courtship?

The best way to start a courtship is to:

• Get to know the person you are interested in.
• Find out what they like and don’t like, their hobbies, and what makes them happy.
• Be yourself and let the other person know who you are. You don’t want to pretend to be someone you’re not, because that will eventually come out and ruin the relationship.
• Be sincere and honest with the person you are interested in.
• Take things slowly. Don’t rush things, because that could lead to problems over time.

Final Thoughts

If you’re thinking of getting serious with someone, it’s important to make sure that you’re compatible on a number of levels. Asking these questions will offer a clearer picture of who your partner truly is, their desires, and whether the two of you are truly compatible.

So go ahead and give them a try—it could be the thing that takes your relationship from good to great!

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Jessa Claire is a registered healthcare provider. Music lover. Daydreamer. Thalassophile. Foodie. A hardworking Capricorn. Most days, an incurable empath. An old soul. Down-to-earth. Vibrant. When she's not writing, she can be seen relaxing with headphones on or engrossed in her favorite fan fiction book.