39 Questions to Ask Someone Who Lost a Loved One

The death of a loved one is an experience that, unfortunately, many of us have to face at some point in our lives. If you haven’t experienced it yourself, it can be difficult to know what to say to someone who’s grieving. You may be afraid to say the wrong thing or make the person relive a painful experience.

However, it’s important to remember that grief is a process that everyone experiences in their own way. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and often the best thing you can do is simply be there for the person. If you’re having a hard time finding the right words, here are some questions that may help.

39 Questions you should ask someone who has experienced the death of a loved one:

  1. How are you doing?
  2. What can I do to help you?
  3. What was your relationship with the person who died?
  4. What do you think they would want you to do?
  5. What are you most grateful for?
  6. What are you most afraid of?
  7. Have you been sleeping? Eaten?
  8. What did they love most in life?
  9. What were their hopes and dreams?
  10. Are there traditions or rituals that are helping you cope?
  11. What has been the most difficult thing for you?
  12. Have you been able to cry? Or laugh?
  13. Do you want to talk about what happened?
  14. What was your fondest memory of your loved one?
  15. What do you need help with?
  16. Do you want to go for a walk together (or do something else)?
  17. Who have you talked to about your grief?
  18. What has been helpful so far?
  19. How long has it been since your loved one passed away?
  20. What were their favorite things?
  21. What did they die of?
  22. How did you find out they died?
  23. What was their funeral like?
  24. Who did you turn to for support?
  25. How has your life changed since their death?
  26. What have you been struggling with since their death?
  27. Are there any traditions or customs you keep in memory of them?
  28. Do you talk about them often?
  29. How do you take care of yourself?
  30. Have you talked to a therapist or counselor?
  31. What are you struggling with most right now?
  32. How are other people in your life coping with the loss?
  33. Have you been attending any support groups?
  34. Do you have any fears or concerns about the future?
  35. Is there anything I can do to help you on your grief journey?
  36. Have you been able to take time off from work?
  37. Do you have photos or mementos of them that you keep close?
  38. When is their birthday/anniversary?
  39. Would you like to share any final thoughts about them with me?

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you comfort someone who lost a loved one?

There’s no easy way to comfort someone who has lost a loved one because the pain and grief they feel can be overwhelming and very difficult to cope with.

However, you can try some strategies, such as offering words of support and compassion, providing practical assistance with tasks like planning the funeral or cleaning out the loved one’s home, and simply being there to listen and offer a shoulder to lean on. Remember that everyone grieves differently.

That’s why it’s important to tailor your approach to what will best help the person in their time of need. Being sensitive, compassionate, and the patient can go a long way toward helping those grieving find closure during this difficult time.

What not to say after someone dies?

When it comes to dealing with the loss of a loved one, there are certain things you should never say to someone who’s grieving.

For example, it’s never appropriate to tell someone to “just get over it” or that their loved one is in a better place now. Likewise, you should avoid making comparisons between your own loss and the person’s grief, because that can come across as insensitive and make the person feel that you’re trivializing their experience.

When someone is grieving, what they need most is compassion and understanding. If you don’t know how to help someone who has lost a loved one, simply being there for them and offering your support can make a big difference during this difficult time.


Coping with the death of a loved one is never easy, but fortunately, we don’t have to go through it alone. By asking probing questions and really listening to the answers, we can show our friends and loved ones that we care and are there for them – no matter what they’re going through.

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

As you found this post useful...

Share it on social media!

We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!

Let us improve this post!

Tell us how we can improve this post?