59 Questions to Ask to Spot a Narcissist

If you’re concerned that someone you know might be a narcissist, it’s important to know what to look for. A narcissistic personality disorder is a mental illness characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration from others.

Narcissists often have difficulty establishing and maintaining healthy relationships and can be manipulative and controlling. In this blog post, we’ll go over some important questions to ask to spot a narcissist and understand the warning signs of this personality disorder.

59 Questions You Can Ask to Spot a Narcissist:

Personal Behavior and Demeanor

  1. Do they constantly seek attention and admiration from others?
  2. Do they often talk about themselves and their accomplishments without showing interest in others’ experiences and achievements?
  3. Do they have a sense of entitlement and believe they are superior to others?
  4. Do they lack empathy and have difficulty understanding others’ emotions and needs?
  5. Do they have a tendency to manipulate and exploit others to get what they want?
  6. Do they often display arrogance and grandiosity in their behavior and demeanor?
  7. Do they have a tendency to belittle or devalue others to make themselves look better?
  8. Do they often exaggerate their achievements and abilities to impress others?
  9. Do they have a tendency to blame others for their mistakes and shortcomings?
  10. Do they have difficulty taking responsibility for their actions and choices?

Relationships With Others

  1. How do they treat others in their personal and professional relationships?
  2. Do they show empathy and consideration towards others, or do they prioritize their own needs and wants?
  3. Do they have a history of manipulating or exploiting others for their own gain?
  4. How do they handle conflicts and disagreements in their relationships?
  5. Do they have a tendency to blame others for their problems and shortcomings, rather than taking responsibility for their own actions?
  6. Do they have a history of ending relationships abruptly or abruptly cutting off contact with others?
  7. Do they have a pattern of using others to achieve their goals and then discarding them when they are no longer useful?
  8. Do they have a pattern of seeking out relationships with those who are vulnerable or less powerful than them?
  9. Do they have a tendency to belittle or invalidate the feelings and experiences of others in their relationships?

Emotional Reactions and Responses

  1. What are the most common emotional responses of a narcissist?
  2. Do they respond differently in different situations?
  3. What are some signs that someone may be trying to manipulate others through emotions?
  4. What is the relationship between a person’s level of self-esteem and emotional reactions?
  5. Are there any patterns or similarities in the way a narcissist responds to particular kinds of criticism or feedback?
  6. Can negative emotions be used as a tool by a narcissist to gain power or control over another person?
  7. How does a narcissist typically react when faced with feelings of vulnerability, guilt, shame, or insecurity?
  8. Can individuals learn to identify and manage their own emotional reactions so that they can better spot manipulation tactics by a narcissist or other manipulator?
  9. How can people protect themselves from being manipulated by emotions if they suspect they may be dealing with a narcissist?
  10. What might lead someone to believe they are dealing with an emotionally manipulative person such as a narcissist instead of simply an individual who is challenging them?

Communication Style and Pattern

  1. How does the communication style of a narcissistic person differ from that of a non-narcissistic person?
  2. What patterns of communication can be used to identify someone as a narcissist? 
  3. Is there an increased frequency of self-promotion in conversations with a narcissist?
  4. Are narcissists more likely to talk about themselves than others?
  5. Does the way in which a narcissistic person speaks generally reflect an exaggerated sense of superiority and entitlement? 
  6. Are there any specific phrases or words that are commonly used by narcissistic people that could indicate they are exhibiting narcissistic behavior? 
  7. Is it common for a narcissist to use manipulative language when communicating with others? 
  8. Do narcissistic people often speak in absolutes such as always and never?  
  9. Are there any particular listening skills that characterize narcissists, such as interrupting, dominating conversations, or not taking turns speaking? 
  10. Do narcissistic individuals typically display body language that reflects arrogance or lack of concern for other people’s feelings?

Attitude Towards Others and Their Needs

  1. How does the narcissist view others in relation to themselves?
  2. Does the narcissist believe that their needs and desires should always be met first?
  3. In what ways do they express entitlement over other people’s attention, resources and loyalty?
  4. Do they place an emphasis on their own abilities over those of others?
  5. Is the narcissist highly critical of others’ thoughts, feelings or beliefs?
  6. Is the narcissist easily threatened by any form of criticism or disagreement?
  7. Does the narcissist display a pattern of exploiting others for personal gain?
  8. Does the narcissist lack empathy when it comes to considering other people’s feelings and needs?
  9. Does the narcissist appear uninterested in conversations that do not directly serve them in some way?
  10. Do they have difficulty expressing gratitude towards others for the assistance or effort provided?

Reaction to Criticism and Feedback

  1. What are the potential consequences of providing criticism and feedback to a narcissist?
  2. How can a person best ensure that their critiques and suggestions are heard when giving feedback to a narcissist?
  3. Are there any effective strategies for diffusing conflict or de-escalating difficult conversations involving a narcissist?
  4. Is it possible to provide constructive criticism and feedback to a narcissist in an effort to help them improve without risking feelings of shame or humiliation?
  5. How can someone determine if their criticisms of a narcissist are being received in a productive manner or causing further damage?
  6. Are there any warning signs that might indicate that the narcissistic individual is not open to suggestions and criticisms about their behavior?
  7. What can be done if a narcissist is feeling threatened or excessively defensive when faced with criticism and feedback?
  8. What actions need to be taken if the recipient of the criticism fails to recognize the value of the advice given by another individual who is attempting to provide constructive guidance?
  9. Is there an appropriate way to ask questions that encourage self-reflection in order for the narcissistic individual to gain insight into areas where they may need improvement, while also avoiding harm to their ego?
  10. Are there any ways that individuals can protect themselves emotionally and psychologically when faced with criticism from a narcissist, yet still convey valid points effectively without becoming overwhelmed by negativity or personal attacks?

Frequently Asked Questions

What is dating a narcissist like?

Dating a narcissist can be a highly toxic experience. Narcissists are known for their extreme self-absorption, lack of empathy, and need for admiration. They may manipulate and gaslight their partners, and may even become physically or emotionally abusive.

In a relationship with a narcissist, you may find yourself constantly on edge, constantly insecure, and constantly trying to please your partner. This can take a serious toll on your mental health and self-esteem. It’s important to recognize the signs of a narcissistic partner and seek help if you’re in a relationship with one.

What does narcissistic abuse look like?

Narcissistic abuse typically involves manipulation, control, and emotional abuse by a person with a narcissistic personality disorder. This may include constantly belittling and criticizing the victim, withholding affection or support, and gaslighting to make the victim question their own thoughts and feelings.

The abuser may also use their charm and charisma to manipulate others and gain power or control over the victim. In some cases, narcissistic abuse may also include physical violence or sexual abuse. Overall, narcissistic abuse can have devastating effects on the victim’s mental health and well-being.


In conclusion, it’s important to understand the signs of narcissism in order to recognize individuals who may be struggling with this personality disorder. By asking these questions and observing the person’s behavior, reactions, and relationships, it is possible to identify a narcissist and find the appropriate help and support.

It is crucial to remember that narcissism is a serious and complex condition that requires professional treatment and support. By recognizing the signs and asking the right questions, we can better support and help those who may be struggling with this condition.

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