33 Questions to Ask When Entering a Polyamorous Relationship

The world of dating can be daunting enough without having to deal with the added complications that polyamory brings. Polyamory, also known as consensual non-monogamy, is the practice of intentionally being with more than one person at a time.

If you’re thinking about entering into a polyamorous relationship, there are some important things you should consider beforehand. Here are a few questions that can help you.

33 Questions to ask yourself before you take the plunge:

  1. What are your reasons for entering into a polyamorous relationship?
  2. What are your boundaries? What’s non-negotiable for you?
  3. What does polyamory mean to you?
  4. How will you communicate with your main partner about your other relationships?
  5. How will you deal with jealousy?
  6. What’s your definition of cheating?
  7. How often will you check in with each other about your other relationships?
  8. What will you do if someone new wants to enter the relationship?
  9. How will you deal with pregnancy or STDs?
  10. How will you handle holidays and special occasions?
  11. What will happen if/when someone wants to leave the relationship?
  12. What rules do you have for sex and safe sex practices?
  13. Do you have veto power over your partner’s other relationships?
  14. Do you have joint finances or living arrangements?
  15. What are your deal-breakers?
  16. When would you say “enough is enough”?
  17. Do all parties involved agree to these terms? Is everyone on the same page?
  18. Are you looking for a casual relationship or something more committed?
  19. How well do you know your own wants and needs?
  20. How well can you communicate?
  21. What’s your relationship history?
  22. Are you on the same page with your partner when it comes to children/having children?
  23. Do you have any religious or spiritual beliefs that might impact your relationship?
  24. What are your thoughts on monogamy?
  25. Do you feel comfortable being intimate with more than one person at a time?
  26. What are your financial boundaries?
  27. What are your emotional boundaries?
  28. How do you feel about honesty?
  29. How do you feel about trust?
  30. How do you feel about respect?
  31. What’s your negotiation style?
  32. Have you ever been in a polyamorous relationship before?
  33. Are you comfortable showing your affection publicly (PDA)?

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you prepare for a polyamorous relationship?

To prepare for a polyamorous relationship, it’s important, to be honest with yourself and your partners about your needs and boundaries. You need to be open about what you expect from the relationship and what you’re willing to give. It’s also important that you’re clear about your partner’s sexual boundaries.

If you’re considering entering into a polyamorous relationship, it’s important to take things slowly and make sure everyone involved is comfortable with the arrangement. Don’t rush into anything without first discussing your expectations and concerns with your partners.

What are some boundaries in polyamory?

Common boundaries in polyamorous relationships include things like agreed-upon rules for outside sexual partners, how much communication is required between partners, and what happens if someone wants to end the relationship.

It’s important to discuss these things in advance and make sure everyone involved is on the same page.

Does polyamory count as cheating?

This could be considered cheating if one person in the relationship is unaware of and doesn’t consent to the other relationship. However, if all parties involved know about and consent to the other relationships, polyamory isn’t cheating.


Although there’s no guarantee that a polyamorous relationship will be easy, it can be helpful to ask yourself these questions before entering into a relationship to lay the necessary groundwork and set the expectations for all involved. With honest communication and a willingness to compromise, there’s no reason why polyamory can’t work for you.

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