54 Questions to Ask When Exploring Gender Identity

There are countless ways to explore and express gender identity. For some people, their gender identity is clear from a young age. For others, it is something they explore throughout their lives. And still, others may change their gender identity over time.

There is no “right” or “wrong” way to explore gender identity. The most important thing is that you do it in a way that feels safe and comfortable for you. If you’re curious about your own gender identity, here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you explore.

54 Questions you can ask when exploring gender identity:

  1. How do I feel when I dress in typically “masculine” or “feminine” clothing?
  2. Do I feel more like myself or more like someone else?
  3. Do I feel like I have to conform to societal expectations of how someone of my assigned gender should look or behave? 
  4. How do I feel about the listed characteristics of my assigned gender?
  5. Do any of the listed characteristics of my assigned gender resonate with me or not? 
  6. Do I feel more comfortable around people of my assigned gender or people of other genders? Why?
  7. What pronouns do I feel most comfortable using? 
  8. What name do I feel most comfortable going by? 
  9. How do I feel about my body?
  10. Do I feel like I’m in the wrong body? 
  11. Do I feel like my body doesn’t match my gender identity? 
  12. Do I feel like my body matches my internal sense of self? 
  13. What kind of partner(s) do I see myself being attracted to? 
  14. What kind of role(s) do I see myself having in romantic and/or sexual relationships? 
  15. What kind of family structure do I see myself fitting into (e.g., married with children, single parent, child-free)? 
  16. How do I feel when someone misgenders me (e.g., calls me by the wrong pronoun)? Does it bother me a lot, a little, or not at all? 
  17. Would I like to medically transition (e.g., take hormones or undergo surgery)? Why or why not? 
  18. Would I like to socially transition (e.g., change my name and/or pronouns, dress differently)? Why or why not? 
  19. What are some things that make me happy and fulfilled?
  20. Are there any activities or hobbies that make me feel particularly good about myself? 
  21. While there is no one right answer to this question, what does gender mean to me?
  22. Is gender important to me or not so much?
  23. How central is gender to my sense of self? 
  24. Have my feelings about my gender changed over time? If so, how and why? 
  25. Is there anyone in my life that I can talk to openly and safely about my thoughts on gender (e.g., a friend, therapist, or trusted family member)? If not, would it be possible for me to find someone like that? 
  26. What kind of support do I need right now as I explore my gender identity further?
  27. Am I currently getting the support I needed? If not, how can I get it?
  28. What are some things that make me anxious or stressed when thinking about gender?
  29. What can I do to reduce those anxiety-provoking thoughts and feelings?
  30. How do I feel about my secondary sex characteristics, such as my breasts or facial hair? 
  31. Do I want to change my appearance to match my gender identity? 
  32. Do people see me as the gender I identify with? 
  33. What is my relationship with society at large like? Am I out or closeted? Do I feel safe being open about my gender identity? 
  34. Do I experience dysphoria? If so, how does it affect me daily? 
  35. Have I been the victim of transphobia or discrimination? If so, how has it affected me? 
  36. How do I feel about sex and sexuality? Does my gender identity affect the way I experience sexual attraction? 
  37. What is my relationship with myself like? Am I comfortable in my own skin? Am I accepting of who I am?
  38. How does prayer or spirituality play into my exploration of gender identity?
  39. How has coming to terms with my gender identity affected my mental health?
  40. Does art, music, literature, or another form of creative expression help me process or express my gender dysphoria?
  41. What role does activism play in my exploration of gender identity?  
  42. How do you feel about your current gender role? 
  43. How do you feel about your current appearance? 
  44. Do you feel like you fit perfectly into the societal expectations of your assigned gender, or are there aspects that don’t quite fit right? 
  45. Do you feel like there’s another gender that would better suit you? 
  46. Have you ever felt uncomfortable or out of place in your assigned gender role? When and where did this happen? 
  47. What parts of your assigned gender do you like/dislike the most? 
  48. Do people react to you differently when they see you in different genders? How so? 
  49. Do you feel like you express your assigned gender in the way that you want to, or is there more that you would like to do to express it?             
  50. What kind of relationship do you want to have with your assigned gender (e.g., complete rejection of it, partial rejection of it, accepting it but not feeling entirely comfortable with it)? 
  51. What are some things that you worry about as far as exploring your gender identity (e.g., how will my family react, will I lose my job)? 
  52. How do you feel about your sexual orientation? 
  53. Do you think your sexual orientation might change after transitioning? 
  54. Do you have any fears or concerns about exploring your gender identity?

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you talk about gender identity?

Gender identity is a complex and personal topic that can be difficult to discuss. It’s important to speak respectfully about a person’s gender identity and to use the correct terminology. It’s also important to remember that everyone has different experiences with their gender identity.

Some people feel like they’re male or female, while others identify as something else entirely. There is no right or wrong way to identify, and everyone should have the freedom to express their gender in whatever way they feel comfortable. It’s important to remember that transgender people are just like everyone else and should not be treated differently because of their gender identity.

What factors influence the development of gender identity?

Gender identity is a complex phenomenon influenced by a variety of factors:

Biological factors such as hormones, genes, and brain structure can play a role in the development of gender identity.

Environmental factors such as parenting style and cultural influences can also affect how someone develops their gender identity.

Finally, personal experiences and individual preferences also contribute to the formation of gender identity.

Why is it important to have a gender identity?

Gender identity is important because it helps us understand ourselves and our place in the world. It gives us a sense of who we are and how we fit in with others.

Gender identity is also important because it can be a source of comfort and strength. When we know who we are, we have more confidence in ourselves and our abilities.


These are just a few examples of questions you might ask yourself as you explore your gender identity There are no right or wrong answers – just the answers that work best for you. Your path is personal, and only you can decide what’s best for you. But no matter which path you choose, know that you are not alone – there’s a whole community of people who love and support you every step of the way.

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