A parent’s job is to protect their children, and that means vetting the people their children date. It can be difficult to let your daughter go out into the world and start dating. You want to make sure your daughter is with someone respectful, and kind, and shares her values. But how can you get to know someone if you only talk to them?
If you ask the right questions, you can get a pretty good picture of the person your daughter is dating and find out if they are worth your time or not.
64 Questions to ask your daughter’s boyfriend:
- How did you two meet?
- How long have you been together?
- What do you like most about each other?
- What are your relationship goals?
- What is your communication style?
- How do you like to spend your time together?
- What do you like to do together?
- What do you like most about my daughter?
- What are your plans for her future?
- What do you think are her best qualities?
- Do you have any common interests?
- Have you ever had a disagreement? How did you resolve it?
- What does she mean to you?
- What do your friends and family think about her?
- Do you want to become a better person because of her? Why or why not?
- Do you trust her? Why or why not?
- Do you respect her opinion? Why or why not?
- Would you describe yourself as a jealous person or not?
- Does jealousy ever occur between the two of you and if so, how do you deal with it?
- What are your intentions with my daughter?
- What are her hobbies and interests?
- How does your relationship make you feel?
- Are there any red flags you’re afraid to talk about?
- Do you respect each other’s privacy?
- What kind of relationship did you have with your parents when you were growing up?
- Do you have siblings? If so, what’s your relationship with them like?
- Have you ever been in a serious relationship? If so, why did it end?
- What do you think about having children one day?
- What’s your definition of a successful relationship?
- Do you have a close relationship with your extended family? If so, who’s like a second family to you?
- What are your hobbies and interests?
- What is your favorite thing about your life?
- What contribution do you hope to make to the world?
- Do you have a pet? If not, would you ever consider getting one?
- Do you have any fears or phobias? If so, what are they and how do you deal with them?
- Do you have any allergies or medical conditions that I should know about?
- Is there anything about you that you would like to change? If so, what is it and why do you feel that way?
- What are your thoughts on religion and spirituality?
- What are your political views?
- What’s your idea of a perfect date night?
- What’s your favorite thing to do for fun?
- Are you looking for something serious or something casual?
- Do you still have close friends from your childhood? How do you stay in touch with them?
- Who would you say has had the biggest influence on your life and why?
- What have been the biggest challenges in your life so far and how did you overcome them?
- Has there ever been a moment when you had to ask someone for help? Who was it and what happened?
- What would you say is your greatest accomplishment in life so far – something you’re really proud of?
- What qualities do you think are important for a good relationship – platonic or romantic?
- Do you think it’s important to spend time apart from time to time? Why or why not?
- How do you handle conflict in relationships?
- How would you describe yourself as a partner in a relationship – using words like “loving,” “supportive,” etc.?
- What are your long-term goals?
- Tell me about your friends. Who are they and what do you like to do together?
- Do you have any special talents or skills?
- What’s your financial situation?
- Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? If so, what ended it?
- How do you feel about communication and sharing feelings in a relationship?
- Are you comfortable with physical affection (e.g. hugging, kissing, holding hands)?
- Do you have any deal-breakers in a relationship (e.g. smoking, drinking, drug use)?
- Do you have children? If so, how do you co-parent? (if applicable)
- Are you currently working or going to school? If so, what do you do or what are you studying?
- How do you feel about fidelity and monogamy?
- What’s your educational background?
- Are you employed? If yes, what do you do?
Frequently Asked Questions
How should I act when meeting my daughter’s boyfriend?
Meeting your daughter’s boyfriend for the first time can be nerve-wracking. You want to make a good impression, but you also don’t want to seem like a pushover. You may be tempted to grill him about his intentions, but that will likely backfire. It’s best to just be yourself.
Be welcoming and polite and let your daughter take the lead in introducing you. If you have any concerns, talk to your daughter about them in private. Ultimately, you just want to make sure your daughter is happy and safe and that the relationship is respectful.
When should you meet your daughter’s boyfriend?
There’s no single answer to this question because it varies from family to family. Some parents want to meet their daughter’s boyfriend as soon as possible, while others may wait until the relationship is a little more serious. Ultimately, the decision should be based on what the parents feel most comfortable with. If they have any reservations about the boyfriend, they should meet with him as soon as possible. If they’re happy with the relationship and feel their daughter is being treated well, they can wait longer.
Conclusion
Asking your daughter’s boyfriend these questions will help calm nerves and allow for a natural conversation between the three of you. It’s important to get to know the person who’s dating your daughter because he will likely be in her life for a while and may even become part of the family one day. Getting to know him better will put you at ease and reassure everyone involved that they know each other well enough to be comfortable around each other.
