47 Questions to Ask Your Ex for Closure

Whether you’ve been together for two weeks or two years, breakups are never easy. If you’re struggling to move on, you may be looking for closure. Closure is when you and your ex(s) have a frank conversation about the relationship and how it ended. This can help you understand what went wrong and give you a sense of closure.

If you’re thinking about reaching out to your ex for closure, there are a few important things to consider. Make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Don’t reach out to your ex in hopes of getting back together – that will only lead to more heartbreak.

Be prepared for anything. Your ex may not want to talk to you or may not be willing to answer your questions honestly. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You don’t need closure from your ex to move on with your life. With that being said, here are a few questions to help you out.

47 Questions that can help you get closure with your ex:

  1. Why did you break up with me?
  2. What were your favorite things about our relationship?
  3. What did you like least about our relationship?
  4. What were some of the happiest moments we had together?
  5. What do you think I could have done to improve?
  6. Was anyone else involved in our breakup?
  7. How have you been since we broke up?
  8. What have you been up to since we broke up?
  9. Do you still think about me? If so, how often?
  10. Did our breakup come as a surprise to you or had you been thinking about it for a while?
  11. What was the last straw that led to our breakup?
  12. What do you think we could have done differently to prevent our breakup?
  13. Do you regret breaking up with me? If so, why?
  14. Do you think we’ll ever get back together? If not, why not?
  15. Is there anything you want to tell me but haven’t yet?
  16. What were the main reasons you wanted to end the relationship?
  17. What parts of the relationship were most difficult for you?
  18. What kind of contact do you envision us having moving forward (if any)?
  19. How do you think our friendship will change now that we have broken up?
  20. Was there anything that kept you from fully committing to me?
  21. What are some things that you’ll miss about me?
  22. Do you think we could have worked out our problems?
  23. What kind of relationship are you looking for?
  24. What are your deal-breakers in a relationship?
  25. Who’s your ideal partner?
  26. What do you think about open relationships?
  27. How do you think things would be different if we got back together?
  28. What did you want that I didn’t give you?
  29. How do you feel about me dating someone else?
  30. What do you think about my current relationship status? (if applicable)
  31. Do you have any advice on how I can be happier in my current relationship? (if applicable)
  32. Do you still have any of my things?
  33. Can I have my things back?
  34. How do you think I’ve been doing emotionally since we broke up?
  35. When did you start losing interest in our relationship?
  36. What things do you like/dislike in a partner now?
  37. What things do you think are important for a healthy relationship?
  38. What do you think is necessary for a successful relationship?
  39. What did you do differently in your next relationship after me?
  40. What do your friends think about me during and after your relationship?
  41. Who would you say put more effort into our relationship, you or me?
  42. What are your closure needs from this conversation?
  43. How do you think I’ve changed since we broke up?
  44. What lessons did you learn from our relationship?
  45. Would you be willing to talk to me again in the future if I need closure on something?
  46. Do you have any final thoughts or advice for me regarding our breakup and moving forward?
  47. What advice would you give to someone going through a breakup similar to ours?

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a closure conversation?

Closure conversations are a necessary part of the grieving process. They allow the grieving person to share their feelings and thoughts about the loss. The goal of a closure conversation is not to find a solution to the problem, but to allow the person to express their grief and receive support from others. Closure conversations can help reduce the feelings of isolation and confusion that often accompany grief.

Should you talk to your ex for closure?

It can be helpful to talk to your ex after a breakup to get closure. This conversation can help you understand why the relationship ended and what you can do differently in the future.

However, it’s important to be respectful and not interrupt the conversation if your ex isn’t interested in talking to you. If you’re still hurt or angry after the breakup, it may be better to wait until you’ve calmed down before reaching out.

How long should you wait to get closure?

Getting closure is an important part of the grieving process, but it’s not always easy to know when you’re ready. Many people need to wait until they have processed all their feelings about the loss before moving on. Others find that closure comes more quickly if they actively work to put the past behind them.

Ultimately, only you can decide how long to wait before seeking closure. If you feel lost and confused, it may be best to give yourself more time. If you feel ready to move on, there’s no harm in seeking closure as soon as possible.


Breakups are hard, but sometimes talking to your ex can help give you closure. If you’re considering talking to your ex, you should do it for the right reasons and be prepared for anything.

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