Some have a coworker that just rubs them the wrong way. They may have a superiority complex or seem overly competitive. Perhaps they are insecure about their abilities and feel as though they need to put others down to make themselves feel better. Whatever the case may be, some of us have experienced at least one of these coworkers.
In this article, we’re going to take you through signs your coworker might be threatened by you and how you can better deal with them if this happens.
They Always Seem to Be Competitive With You
When it comes to coworkers, we all have that one person who gets on our nerves. Maybe they are overly competitive or seem to have a superiority complex. Insecurity is often the reason for this behavior, and when someone feels threatened by you, they often react in different ways. If your colleague always seems to be competitive with you, it’s probably a sign that they are threatened by your abilities.
There are some important benefits to recognizing this behavior in your coworker. First, you can better manage your interactions with them. When someone feels threatened, they’re likely to be more reactive and less rational. When you understand this, you can take action to avoid conflict and keep the peace.
Second, it’s helpful to know that this behavior often results from insecurity. When you understand this, you can show compassion and understanding, which can help the person feel more comfortable around you.
Finally, recognizing that someone is threatened by you, can give you a better understanding of their motivations. This can be helpful when you’re trying to build a positive relationship with them or when working together on a project.
They Talk Badly About You to Other Coworkers
This can take many forms, from something as simple as “I heard she’s been talking about me” to something more complex, like “I heard she’s been saying that my work is incredibly unprofessional.“
They also might say things like “It’s not fair that [name] gets to do [thing]” or “I wish I had her job instead.” They might even go so far as to tell their friends that they hate working with you and that they don’t think your work is good enough. If someone says any of these things, it’s a sign that they feel threatened by you in some way. It could be that they want your job or feel like they need to compete with you to secure their position.
This type of behavior is typically an act of desperation as the person tries to build themselves up by tearing others down. Unfortunately, this can have a negative impact on workplace morale and can lead to tension and conflict.
Whatever the reason they have, it’s important that you know when someone is feeling this way so you can address it and make sure everyone feels comfortable working together!
They Try to Take Your Ideas and Claim Them as Their Own
Here are two examples of how this can play out:
- You’ve been working on a project for weeks and are finally ready to present it at the next team meeting, but then one of your coworkers suggests the same idea in front of everyone without crediting anyone else for having thought of it first (or even mentioning it).
- You finish writing an important report, only to find out later that someone else stole your ideas and presented them as their own – and now there’s no way for anyone in the company to find out who really came up with those ideas first!
This can be very frustrating, especially if you feel like you’re constantly in everyone else’s shadow. However, there are some advantages to this behavior.
For one thing, it means that your coworker is paying attention to what you’re doing and recognizes your abilities. This can be a good thing because it means they may come to respect you more. It also shows that they’re concerned about your competition and are trying to stay one step ahead of you.
If your coworker is constantly trying to take your ideas and claim them as their own, there are a few things you can do to deal with them.
- Try to always remain professional and don’t let them get under your skin.
- Document your ideas and keep track of when they’ve taken credit. That way, if there’s a dispute, you can prove that they were your ideas.
- Talk to your boss about the situation and ask for their help in resolving the issue.
They Constantly Interrupt You or Talk Over You in Meetings
It may be easy to think that someone who constantly interrupts you disagrees with what you’re saying. The truth is that people who interrupt others are often just looking for validation and attention. They may be insecure about their abilities and feel like they need to take something away from everyone else in order to get noticed.
There are a few possible reasons why this might be the case. Maybe they’re worried that you will outshine them or that your ideas will be better received by the team. Maybe they feel as though they need to compete with you to keep their position on the team.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to understand why your colleague is behaving this way. If you can identify the root of the problem, you can address it head-on. You may need to have a conversation with your coworker to explain how their behavior is making you uncomfortable.
You could also try to establish rapport with them by finding common ground or shared interests. If all else fails, you may need to speak to your boss about the situation.
They Make Fun of You or Belittle You in Front of Others
If someone makes fun of you, it’s maybe because they feel threatened by your success or power. However, when they put you down in front of others, they’re trying to make sure everyone knows that they are better than you and can’t be challenged.
Another way is that they spread rumors about you and make jokes about how stupid or incompetent you are. This can be done out loud, in front of others, or behind your back – it doesn’t matter.
When this happens, there are several ways you can respond:
- Talk to the person privately about their behavior and ask them why they feel they act that way. Sometimes people don’t realize how their behavior affects others. If you give them an opportunity to reflect on how their behavior is perceived, it may help them avoid doing something like this again in the future.
- If talking to the person isn’t an option (e.g., because they’re not open to discussing things), then consider bringing up the issue with a manager or HR department. This is especially important if the person’s behavior is making it difficult for you to do your job or feel comfortable at work.
- If the person’s behavior is really affecting your work, you may need to consider finding a new job. This isn’t always an easy decision, but sometimes it’s necessary to protect your well-being.
They Try to Sabotage Your Work or Projects
This can take a variety of forms, from making snide comments to sabotaging projects or assignments. They may even try to get others to go against you by spreading rumors about you. They may even be passive-aggressive about it.
Some examples of how colleagues may try to sabotage your work are:
- Not sharing important information in meetings or project discussions.
- They talk behind your back about how they don’t think your ideas are good enough.
- They don’t include you in important meetings or conversations.
- They take credit for ideas that came from you (but don’t tell anyone).
- Not responding to your emails or calls in a timely manner.
This type of behavior is often the result of the fear that comes from feeling threatened by someone more talented than you. It’s not uncommon for people who feel this way to try to hold other people back to keep their own position at the top – or even just to keep them from becoming too comfortable in their own skin.
This kind of behavior can be especially harmful when it comes from someone who has authority over others (e.g., a boss) because it can cause subordinates to question their abilities and worth as well.
They Always Seem to Be Trying to One-Up You
They may be constantly trying to prove their worth by showing how much better they are than everyone else. This is often a sign that your colleague feels threatened by you and feels that they need to put you down in order to make themselves feel better.
Here are some examples of what it looks like when coworkers try to one-up each other:
- “I’ve been here longer than anyone else.”
- “I know more about this product than anyone else on our team.”
- “I’ve had more success than anyone else.”
- “I’m the smartest person in this room.”
If you find yourself in a situation where someone is constantly trying to one-up you, there are a few things you can do.
First, try to stay calm and avoid getting defensive. It can be tempting to try to one-up the other person, but that will only escalate the situation and make things worse.
Second, try to turn the conversation around by focusing on what you have in common rather than what makes you different. This will help dispel any feelings of competition or rivalry. If all else fails, you can always talk to your supervisor or the HR department about the situation.
The thing you can do is try to understand why your coworker might feel this way. People often feel threatened because they are insecure about their abilities. If this is the case, try to be understanding and supportive. Let them know that you respect their skills and value the contributions they make to the team.
They Try to Control the Conversation or Limit What You Can Say
This is because they probably feel you’re a threat to their position in the company or that you can do things they can’t. By limiting what you say, they may try to minimize your impact on the company.
They may also talk about something that happened at work with another coworker and leave out important details like when or where it happened. Or they may talk about an upcoming project, but not tell you which project it is or what stage of development it’s in.
There are several benefits to recognizing this behavior from your coworker. First, it allows you to prepare yourself for any tactics they may use to try to put you down. Second, it allows you to be confident in your abilities and have a positive attitude around them. Finally, it can help you understand why they might be acting this way and provide empathy for their situation.
If your coworker is limiting what you can say, there are a few things you can do to deal with them. You could try to have a conversation with them about why they’re doing it and see if you can come to an understanding. You could also try to find ways to work around their attempts to control the conversation.
They Constantly Criticize Your Work, Even When It’s Done Well
This happens because they may feel that you threaten their position in the company or that you have more talent than they do. If they only criticize your work because they don’t like it or think it could be better, that’s fine – that’s how people learn new things and grow.
But if they constantly find fault with everything you do and tell you how you can do it better, even when it’s clear that you’ve already tried to do so, then there’s a good chance they’re threatened by you.
Here are some examples:
“This report is a disaster. You need to revise it.”
“Your presentation was really well done, but there are a few things I would have done differently.”
“I don’t know why you’re struggling so much with this project. It’s not that hard.”
If you find yourself in a situation where your work is constantly being criticized, there are a few things you can do.
First, try to stay positive and ignore the criticism as much as possible. If the coworker is always finding something wrong with your work, it can be hard not to get discouraged. But by staying positive, you show them that they are not getting to you and that their behavior doesn’t affect your work.
Second, try to build a relationship with this coworker. If they see that you’re friendly and approachable, they may be less likely to criticize your work. If you build a positive relationship, you may also get more constructive feedback from them.
Finally, if the criticism doesn’t stop even after you have tried these things, it may be time to talk to your manager about the situation. After all, the colleague’s behavior could be affecting your ability to do your job effectively. If you talk to your manager, you can get help dealing with the situation, and you may even find out that your colleague is being disruptive on purpose.
They’re Always Spreading Rumors About You Behind Your Back
This can take many forms, from something as simple as “I heard she’s been talking about me” to something more complex like “I heard her say my work is incredibly unprofessional.” If this happens to you at work, there are a few things you should think about:
First, keep in mind that this person is probably just jealous of your skills or accomplishments and wants to hurt you because of it. If someone is spreading rumors behind your back, they probably feel threatened by how much more successful or talented they are.
It doesn’t mean anything bad about them; it just means they’re insecure about their abilities and want to feel better about themselves by putting others down. Sometimes the best thing we can do with people like this is just to leave them alone until they get over themselves!
If you feel like confronting this person, try to keep things as civil as possible! Think of it as a conversation between equals: how would you feel if someone was spreading rumors about you? Would you want that person to confront you in an aggressive or condescending manner? Most likely not, so try to avoid that as well.
Instead, calmly explain that you know what the person is doing and why it’s hurtful. Then ask them to stop. If they refuse, you may need to talk to your boss or HR about the situation.
Their Body Language Is Closed Off or Defensive When Around You
It’s not always easy to tell if your coworker is uncomfortable around you or not, but there are a few ways to tell. Their eyes will tend to dart away from yours if they feel threatened, or they may not make eye contact at all.
They may also adopt a closed-off posture and avoid standing near you. If their body language is closed off, it could mean that they’re trying to protect themselves from exposing themselves to others.
The second sign is how they treat other people at work; specifically, how they treat those who are just like them (for example, female colleagues). If your coworker treats other women in the office differently than men – especially if she treats them with less respect – it could be because she feels threatened by other women who want the same things she does (for example, promotions and raises).
Also, watch out for passive-aggressive behavior in your coworker’s interactions with others. This can be anything from snide comments to backhanded compliments. If your coworker is constantly putting others down, it could be because she’s trying to make herself feel better by making comparisons.
If you notice any of these signs in your coworker’s behavior, it may be best to avoid them as much as possible. You don’t want to end up in a situation where you’re the one feeling threatened or exposed!
They Seem Threatened by Any Signs of Progress or Growth From You
When people feel threatened by each other, they tend to behave unprofessionally. This can lead to fewer opportunities for growth, lower morale, and a general feeling of negativity that makes it harder for everyone to give their best and perform at their highest level. If someone is behaving negatively toward you, it’s important that you’re honest with yourself about what might be the reason for those feelings.
Is there something specific you’ve done? Did someone else say something? Have you noticed any changes in the way they treat you since last week? Did something happen outside of work that might have affected your co-worker’s feelings?
Once you’ve figured out what caused your colleague’s behavior, take some time to reflect on whether you could have done something differently so the person didn’t feel threatened by what they perceive as “your success.” This might mean thinking about why you think they might have reacted that way in the first place, and whether there are steps you can take to mitigate it in the future.
It’s also important to remember that not everyone will respond positively to your successes – and that’s okay! You don’t need everyone’s approval to like you or your accomplishments. The most important thing is to focus on the people who support you and build positive relationships with them.
They Exclude You From Conversations and Social Events
If your coworker is trying to assert their dominance over you, they may be trying to isolate you so they can feel in control of the situation. However, if they feel seriously threatened by you, they may want to engage with you to make themselves feel better.
Here are some signs that your coworker excludes you from conversations or social events:
- They don’t include you in group emails or chats so you will miss out on some information about work.
- They exclude you from conversations and social events. You notice that your coworker never wants to spend time with you outside of work, and when other people invite you to events like happy hours or birthday parties, they always find an excuse not to go.
- They try to make you feel like an outsider. Your coworker may act like you’re not part of the team, and they might even go out of their way to make sure you know it. For example, they might exclude you from meetings or leave you out of important decisions.
If you’re being excluded from social interactions at work, you should take a step back and evaluate the situation. Are other people included in the conversations and events? If not, it may not be personal – the person organizing them may just have different preferences. However, if you are the only one being excluded, you should consider whether there’s anything you can do to change the situation.
The most important thing is that you don’t take it personally – everyone feels differently and some people may simply need more time to warm up to you. Remember that you can’t force anyone to like you, so don’t waste your energy trying. Instead, focus on the relationships you do have and the people who enjoy your company.
Frequently Asked Questions
When is the right time to confront your coworker for their bad behavior?
This is one of those questions we all have to answer at some point in our careers: When do you say something about a coworker’s negative behavior, and how do you do it without making things worse?
The answer is: as soon as possible and in person.
It’s not always easy to confront someone who’s behaving badly, but there are definite benefits to doing so. If you wait too long, your coworker will probably get comfortable with their behavior and feel like they can get away with it. That means they’ll become even more aggressive – and may even get away with more than social discomfort (like spreading rumors or trying to sabotage your work).
Confronting someone also lets them know that their behavior is unacceptable – which hopefully leads them to change their actions. And if they don’t change their actions after being confronted, at least you’ll have documented evidence against them if things get worse!
How do you deal with colleagues who cross your boundaries?
If a coworker does something that makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened, it’s important that you address the situation immediately. Because if you don’t, this behavior can lead to bigger problems.
For example: asking you to do their work or take on additional tasks. Or if a colleague always disagrees with what you say because they think they know better.
If a coworker crosses your boundaries, here’s what you can do:
Establish clear boundaries with your coworker from the beginning. If you haven’t already, have a conversation with them about what is and isn’t acceptable behavior in the workplace. This will help them understand your expectations and may prevent them from crossing your boundaries in the future.
Be assertive when they cross your boundaries. It’s important to stand up for yourself and let your coworker know that their behavior is not acceptable. This can be difficult, but it’s important that you remain firm and consistent.
Keep a record of the incidents. If your coworker continues to cross your boundaries, write down the incidents. This will be helpful if you need to take further action, such as reporting to HR.
In short, take action! That means talking to your colleague directly about the incident (even if it’s uncomfortable), letting them know how their behavior made you feel, and setting clear boundaries for the future.
If they don’t listen to you or respect your wishes, you can take it up with your boss or HR. But it’s always best to try and resolve things between employees first – it’ll save everyone a lot of time and headaches in the long run.
How do you professionally complain about a coworker?
It’s not easy. It can be even harder when you have to complain in writing, but if you’re going to complain about a coworker, you’ll need to do it in writing. Here are some tips on how to make sure your written complaint is effective:
Be brief and to the point. Don’t waste time by repeating yourself or adding unnecessary details. Make sure everything you write is relevant and necessary.
Make sure what you’re complaining about is actually an issue – don’t just complain because the person is annoying you. If they’re doing something wrong, address it specifically and provide details so the person reading the complaint can understand exactly what’s going on and how it’s affecting their work or the company as a whole.
Be careful not to be too negative or accusatory; instead, focus on how the problem affects your work or how it could be fixed to benefit everyone (for example, “There are too many emails in my inbox” or “I hate getting emails“).
Don’t make threats or act like you’re going over someone’s head if they don’t fix the problem. Stay professional and calm, even if it’s hard.
Include a solution! If you want your complaint to be taken seriously, make sure to include a proposed solution. This shows that you aren’t just complaining for the sake of complaining, but that you actually want a change.
If you follow these tips, your written complaint will be more effective and less likely to be ignored. And who knows – it might even lead to positive changes in your workplace!
Takeaway
It can be helpful to be aware of the signs that your coworker is threatened by you. When you understand why they may feel this way, you can take steps to mitigate their concerns and improve your working relationship.
Remember that communication is key in these situations! If you can have an open and honest conversation about what’s going on, you’ll be more likely to find a solution that works for both of you.
