What Does the No-Contact Rule Mean?
The no-contact rule means that you don’t text, call, email, or message your ex for a certain amount of time. It is one of the most effective ways to get over your ex and start your recovery from the breakup. This rule doesn’t mean you give up on love forever and resign yourself to a life alone; it means you take care of yourself before trying to contact your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend.
The no contact rule puts you in control of your emotions and prevents you from seeming desperate or needy when you talk to your ex. When you follow this rule, you become more attractive both physically and mentally and show that while they may have broken up with you, they did not break up with you.
The no contact rule helps you deal with the feelings of abandonment that come after a breakup because it gives you time to deal with those feelings instead of being overwhelmed by them during interactions with your ex. With space also comes clarity about how you feel about the relationship and what kind of relationship (if any) can come out of a breakup like yours. Your only job at this time is to focus on yourself and avoid contact with your ex at all costs!
Why Is the No Contact Rule So Effective?
The no contact rule is so effective because it helps you break the cycle of constant communication and contact with your ex. Instead, you get the opportunity to step back from them emotionally and physically. You gain clarity about the relationship, resist the urge to contact your ex, and become more emotionally independent and a better person.
Many people make the mistake of thinking that they can stay friends with their ex or maintain contact with them, even after they break up. This won’t end well for you because it’ll only confuse the two of you more. If you implement the no-contact rule, you can avoid unpleasant arguments and fights that can lead to a permanent breakup or cause hurt feelings on both sides.
It Is an Effective Coping Mechanism
The no-contact rule is an effective coping mechanism for dealing with the aftermath of a breakup.
By not initiating contact, you give yourself the time you need to process the breakup. You are choosing to take care of yourself instead of relying on someone else to do it for you. This period can be a few days, weeks, or months, depending on how long you were in a relationship and how painful the ending was.
You will experience a range of emotions during your no-contact period, but know that it’s only temporary. A breakup is like losing a loved one and your mind will naturally go into shock trying to process the loss. Your emotions will fluctuate between anger, sadness, and hope as you try to get over your heartbreak.
The no-contact rule helps break this cycle by interrupting the negative thoughts and giving them time to calm down on their own before returning after the period is over.
It Helps You Gain Clarity About Your Relationship
The no contact rule helps you gain clarity about your relationship by being clear about your role in the relationship, what went wrong in the relationship, what you can do differently in future relationships, and most importantly, what you need to work on yourself.
Your ex’s role: did your ex violate any of your boundaries? Did they mistreat or disrespect you? Did they make a habit of taking you for granted? Did they distance themselves from you or withdraw physically or emotionally? Did they lack compassion, empathy, or consideration for your feelings and needs? Were they too controlling or manipulative in their behavior? If so, you must understand exactly how and why their behavior was unacceptable.
Your Role: to honestly assess your part in the breakup, it’s important to take a closer look at some of the most common reasons relationships end. Which of these apply to your situation? Make sure you’re completely honest when answering these questions. The more honest the answers we can give ourselves now, the more time and heartache we’ll save ourselves later.
It’ll Help You Resist the Urge to Contact Your Ex
This point may seem very obvious, but it’s amazing how many people don’t implement the no contact rule properly. They may pretend that they have no contact with their ex, but they still read all the updates on social media, put themselves in their ex’s shoes, and talk about him/her with friends.
You won’t get over your ex if you keep looking at her/him. You need to completely ignore them for a while. Don’t check your email, Facebook, or Twitter – anything that might give you a clue about what she or he’s up to. If you have mutual friends, politely ask them not to keep you in the loop about what your ex is up to.
The best way to resist these temptations? Keep busy.
Volunteer at a soup kitchen or animal shelter, take up a new hobby (that’s nothing to do with computers), spend time with family and friends who love you – anything that will take your mind off your ex and help fill the gaping hole in your heart.
It Forces You to Take Time off and Focus On Other Areas of Your Life
When you’re in a toxic relationship, it can be easy to lose sight of who you are. Sometimes you feel like the other person is your whole life. It can be very difficult to distinguish between you and your partner because you put so much energy into the relationship. When that happens, it’s hard to make real progress in areas outside of the relationship.
The no-contact period can give you that important space that allows you to focus on other aspects of your life. This can be a particularly useful time to improve yourself. You can use this time to:
Take Care of Your Physical and Mental Health
A toxic or abusive relationship may take a toll on your mental health, which also affects how you feel physically!
Start a New Exercise Program
In times of stress, we need all the endorphins we can get! When you exercise regularly, it lifts your mood, makes you feel better, and gives you more confidence. Even if running isn’t necessarily what makes you happy, there are lots of fun ways to exercise, like yoga or just having fun with the kids!
Rekindle Friendships
When we get involved with someone new, our friends don’t see us as often (especially if they don’t approve!). By focusing on reconnecting with friends and family during this time, you can strengthen those important relationships again.
It’ll Help You Cope With Your Emotions
One of the hardest parts of a breakup is dealing with emotional pain. Regardless of whether you broke up with your partner or it was the other way around, your emotions are probably all over the place.
While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with difficult feelings, many people find that one of the most effective ways to cope is to avoid their ex for at least a short time after the breakup. Even if you were primarily responsible for the breakup, deciding not to have no contact can help you understand the reasons for the breakup and give you time to process your emotions without being influenced by your ex’s comments.
It may seem counterintuitive that avoiding someone completely will help your mental health in this situation, but medical professionals and clinical psychologists agree that time away from each other can help both parties better process their feelings and understand the reasons for their breakup.
It Can Be an Important Step in Making You Emotionally Independent After a Breakup
One of the most important benefits of no contact is that you become emotionally independent again. You learn to live your life without your ex is a part of it. This can be an effective way to get over a breakup, especially if your ex was an important part of your life for more than just romantic reasons.
If you used to spend a lot of time together and maybe even lived together, it can be difficult to deal with all the things you did together when they’re no longer around.
The no-contact rule is an effective way to deal with this challenge because it forces you to get used to life without them and shows you how much happiness you can find in other areas of your life. While this doesn’t mean you have to cut off contact forever, during the no-contact rule you must avoid contacting him/her by all means.
It Forces Your Ex to Finally Realize That This Relationship Means Work for Both of You
It’s easy for a couple to forget that a relationship requires work from both sides. In the beginning, we’re usually happy with our partner and don’t feel like we need to change anything about ourselves. But over time, the relationship feels less fulfilling.
Therefore, both sides need to put in effort and compromise to keep things running smoothly. If you want your ex back after being away from him/her for a while, he/she needs to realize that you both worked on the relationship, otherwise, there’s no point in trying anymore!
If she or he cheated first? No contact forces them to think about their actions and how they affect other people’s feelings. It also makes them realize how much they hurt you when they decided it wasn’t worth giving up all those years together!
If either party has neglected themselves in any way? No contact makes it possible for just one person to make an effort if they want things to get back to normal without their partner having expectations of them.
Your Ex Will See That They No Longer Have the Power Over You That They Once Had
This is one of the most important things you need to understand, and the reason why the no contact rule works so well.
In your past relationship with your ex, you gave them a lot of power over your feelings. The way they behaved towards you had an impact on how you felt about yourself and how they felt about you.
You may not have realized it at the time, but that led to your ex having a lot of power over your feelings. As long as he or she was happy in the relationship, everything was fine, and when things went bad between you, it negatively affected how well you felt.
When we’re in a relationship, our self-esteem depends on how our partner behaves towards us. If they treat us badly, we feel bad, and if they treat us well, we feel good. However, this tendency can lead to problems in our relationships because it means not only that other people can make us feel good or bad by their behavior, but also that there’s nothing we can do about it except try to change their behavior (which rarely works).
However, when you cut off contact with your ex, something really interesting happens: you take away all of your ex’s power and give it back to yourself! For example, if your ex has treated you badly in the past (and especially during the breakup), by banning contact he/she loses the ability to continue to negatively impact your self-worth and confidence! This is enormously important!
You’ll Have More Confidence When You Resume Contact With Your Ex(s)
If you try to get your ex back, your self-confidence will greatly increase because you know that he/she’s coming back. After all, he/she wants to be with you and not because he/she feels sorry for you or something like that.
When you conclude that breaking up with him/her was the best decision for both of your lives, it boosts your self-confidence because you know that staying in a toxic relationship didn’t do either of you any good. It also makes it easier for them to move on (if they want to).
If neither of these things happens when you resume contact (and they most likely will), then your confidence will also be higher because now nothing is holding them back from the ex and they can finally think about all the things that made them happy before they met their future partner.
It Gives You Time to Develop as a Person
When you go through a breakup, everything comes to a halt. You’d constant contact with your ex and now suddenly it’s all over.
At the beginning of your relationship, this was the time when you could show each other your best side. This was the romantic phase when everything was bliss and excitement. Once that phase is over, things slow down as the initial feelings fade and you no longer feel like you’re on cloud nine every second.
During this period of novelty, which subsides when it’s passed its peak, we become more relaxed about ourselves and our behavior towards our partners because we’re sure that they no longer love us as much.
The no contact rule gives both people involved in the breakup time to develop as individuals so that they are ready when they meet a new person who truly deserves them. It’s also important to take some time to allow yourself to get out and see what else is out there. You’ll know when it’s the right thing to do, and if you get along well with your ex, he/she’s less likely to want revenge or do something bad when he/she sees you are happy without him/her.
It Keeps You Out of the Drama
This may not always be the case, but when you break up with someone, there’s usually a lot of drama. They’re upset about the breakup and talk to you or other people about it. Or they try to get angry at you to distract themselves from their feelings of heartbreak. You don’t have to cause them any more drama than they already have in their lives now.
The no contact rule keeps you out of that drama and lets him or her move on without involving you.
If your ex is going through a breakup, he or she will do what he or she needs to do to get over it, even if that means bitching about you. And some people will take sides and go along with any story they’re told (whether it’s true or not). This is normal because most people want a good story and a bit of gossip! Don’t worry about what others think! Stay strong! Don’t keep in touch!
It Gets You the Closure You Deserve
Your ex will realize what he/she has lost when he/she sees you moving on without him/her. This, in turn, makes him/her want to get back together with you. You shouldn’t break the no contact rule just because your ex has decided to get back in touch with you. The hurt may still be there, but over time it will go away if you don’t talk to your ex and get busy instead.
Closure is an important step in getting over your ex. It helps you put the past behind you and start a new chapter of your life where he/she’s no longer a part of it. If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this article, it’s that closure isn’t just about having the last word or hearing an apology from your ex; rather, it’s about accepting the truth about what happened between the two of you so we can learn not to do it differently next time.
It Gives You Time to Do a Self-Assessment of the Relationship
The no contact rule gives you time to do a self-assessment of the relationship and figure out what went wrong.
I’m sure this has happened to you: you feel hurt or angry and you can think of a zillion things you could say to your ex. You’d put them in their place, wouldn’t you? Probably make them feel guilty or tell them how badly they screwed up!
But no… if you let your feelings get the best of you and you fly into a rage, several bad things can happen. First, if the breakup was mutual and you both did things that contributed to the end of the relationship, it won’t help. You’d put all the blame on him/her and tell him/her he/she needs to change, but nothing about what YOU need to change.
And even if it was solely his/her fault, saying those things won’t help because you’re not giving him/her any tools to change… just confirmation that he/she did something wrong. After all, it’s not just about you both knowing what he/she did wrong (you already know that), it’s about you both changing those bad patterns so they don’t come back.
You Know How to Set Boundaries With Your Ex
The longer you have no contact, the safer you will feel. By the end of your no-contact period, you will notice a change. You’ll be much stronger and more confident, and that also means you’ll know exactly how to set boundaries with your ex.
You’ll know what’s no longer okay or acceptable. You know what you won’t tolerate. You know that it’s okay to say no without having to justify it to others. You know how to take care of yourself and make sure everything in your life is for your benefit (and not someone else’s).
You have become a person who sets healthy boundaries for everyone around him/her, including his/her ex (if you get back together one day). This is such an important skill when it comes to having a healthy relationship with another person! It’s essential for building trust in any relationship!
It Helps You Avoid Nasty Fights and Arguments
If you’re in a relationship and it ends, it’s hard to avoid getting into nasty fights. Especially if the relationship ended badly, if one of you cheated, or if your breakup was particularly painful. Arguing can be the result of anger and frustration, but it can also happen because you’re looking for some kind of closure.
But arguing won’t help you get over someone. It probably does the opposite. Not only are you likely to say things that hurt her/him (and yourself), but there’s no guarantee you’ll get closure – she/he may just repeat your words or shut up and stop talking altogether!
When emotions are running high during a breakup, it’s important for everyone involved to take some time out before talking again about what happened between them. After all, when both people have calmed down, they can better talk to each other without saying something they’ll regret later!
It Shows Your Ex That They Can’t Take Advantage of You Anymore
The no-contact rule gives you the perfect opportunity to show your ex that they can’t take advantage of you anymore. Because even if your ex is a reasonable, nice person and never intentionally tried to take advantage of you, it’s possible that it happened unconsciously.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our relationships that we forget who we are as individuals. We lose ourselves completely in our partners and have no identity outside of them. Then they start to take us for granted and treat us like a doormat.
And sometimes this happens when the relationship starts to go downhill because our self-esteem drops and we fall into a state of despair, which makes us more likely to accept bad treatment from our partner because at least someone still loves us!
But if you cut off contact with your ex, they’ll quickly realize that they can no longer take advantage of you. They can no longer ignore you or treat you badly because they know there will be consequences (like losing contact with their ex forever).
And this realization not only makes them want to reestablish contact with their ex and try again (because who wants to lose a good thing?) but also makes them realize how important their ex is now that they might lose them forever!
It Teaches You Some Important Lessons
It’s hard to go through the no-contact period without learning something from it. You learn that you can survive without someone, that you’re responsible for your happiness, and that you can’t control other people’s behavior.
When you break up with someone, it’s normal to feel like your heart will break and your world will end. In your head, it may make sense that you can live alone, but knowing and feeling are two different things. Going through the contact freeze means that the knowledge of being able to live without someone is no longer just something abstract, but becomes real.
You also get a much better idea of what life is like on the other side of a breakup when someone else triggers it this time! You’ll be so much stronger when someone breaks up with you in the future because you’re going through it now!
It Gives Both Parties Time to Heal
As painful as it is to cut off contact with your ex, you’re doing yourself a huge favor because you’re being forced to heal. For the first two weeks, you’ll be busy texting or calling him/her, begging him/her to change his mind. You’ll want to get back together with him/her so badly that the thought of seeing him/her with someone else will be unbearable for you.
But after a while, if he doesn’t respond to your messages and calls, the pain will lessen day by day until you finally forget about him/her. That doesn’t mean you don’t love them anymore, but it does mean that you’ve now learned to deal with life without them instead of constantly suffering from their absence.
Don’t get me wrong – dealing with life without him/her is by no means easy, even if it gets easier every day. But once the pain has subsided even a little bit (if only for a little bit), the healing can begin, and that’s good news for both parties!
It Gives Both Parties Time to Find Perspective and Hopefully Mature a Little
This is the time when you can understand what the relationship was about and why it ended.
This will also help both of you mature and become better people. You’ll reach a level of self-awareness that you couldn’t have reached 10 months ago or even a month ago. You’ll learn more about yourself than you ever thought possible. You’ll become more confident about who you are, your beliefs and values, etc. At the very least, it’s an opportunity for both of you to grow into your person with experiences that were previously foreign to you.
You’ll also be out of touch with whoever hurt them (and may have hurt them), which can help them learn how to feel without being affected by those feelings while they’re still fresh and new (after all, we usually want what we can’t have). Who knows? Maybe they’ll realize they don’t care!
Plus, you can talk objectively about what went wrong in the relationship because everything isn’t so fresh and unprocessed anymore. So if you decide it’s worth getting back together (and your situation hasn’t changed too much), maybe this round can be different because both parties are now more self-aware – maybe it’ll work out!
It Protects Innocent People From Being Dragged Into the Drama of Your Breakup
Have you ever had a friend or family member tell you that they’re going through something difficult and ask for your advice? Then, one by one, they go through all the details of the situation and all the problems that are driving them crazy, and they end up only more angry and frustrated than when they started.
How many times have you thought to yourself, “Okay, now I get it. If only we’d had a three-minute rule to talk about our problems…”.
When we’re involved in something painful, we can spend endless amounts of time talking about it. And this is even more true when it comes to our breakups. We want everyone around us to see exactly why he or she was wrong or what went wrong, so they’ll agree with us wholeheartedly and side with us.
But if you’ve ever been on the other end of someone else’s emotional outpouring, it can get boring very quickly and wear you out just listening. Your brother doesn’t need another three hours on the phone to hear how unreasonable your ex was during his visit last weekend.
Your friends don’t need another text message explaining to them from beginning to end exactly why the breakup happened. Your parents don’t need another dramatic Sunday dinner conversation where all you do is complain about your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend. The people in your life should be there for you when you need them, but not as an audience for every little thing that happens after a breakup.
Allow Yourself to Start a New Life Without Them in It
Whatever the reason for your breakup, you may feel like you’re in limbo during this time, but that’s not true. You’ve taken the first step forward by deciding to take a break from your ex. This is a chance to get back on track and regain control of your life.
The no-contact period gives you time to figure out what went wrong in your relationship and how to prevent it from happening again. But more importantly, the no-contact period gives you a chance to focus on yourself – doing things that make you happy, spending time with friends and family, working on personal goals (such as career or fitness), etc.
During the contact freeze, make sure you don’t lose sight of what’s important: YOU! If there are things that don’t make you happy, now is a good time to cut them out of your life and start over!
It Prevents You From Becoming Too Desperate and Needy
When you and your ex are involved with each other, it’s a constant game of push and pulls. With every word you say and every action you take, you’re either pushing your ex further away from you or pulling them closer to you.
The no-contact rule prevents you from acting in a way that pushes them away from you. If you act needy, clingy, or desperate, it’ll only further discourage your ex from returning to you.
Your ex may reach out to see if they can get some reassurance from you, but don’t respond until the 30 days are up. Until then, rebuild yourself by doing things that interest you and not caring what they do. You need to regain control of your life so that the two who once lost each other can find each other again when the time comes for a new relationship.
It Allows You to Put Your Best Foot Forward
After a breakup, it can be hard to know what to do next. You may want to talk to your ex all the time, or you may be tempted to call him or her late at night when you’re feeling lonely. However, these actions only make it harder to get over the breakup and move on with your life.
The no-contact rule is a simple but effective tool that can help you take control of the situation and be on your best behavior. By avoiding all contact with your ex for some time, you can focus on healing and moving on. This doesn’t mean you’ve to cut off contact completely – you can still talk to mutual friends, for example – but it does mean you should avoid all direct contact.
It can be difficult to stick to the no-contact rule, but it’s important to remember that it’s only temporary. If you can get through the no-contact period, you’ll be in a much better position to start over and build a new life without your ex.
It Helps You Build Some Momentum for Yourself
You can think of the no-contact rule as a kind of crescendo in a song. As you build momentum and confidence, your self-esteem and self-worth grow.
The more time goes by and the more aware and confident you become, the more things beyond your control will come up for you (serendipity). And the better you feel about yourself, the more likely this is to happen.
What I’m saying is that energy begets energy! So if you focus on yourself and improve yourself, even things that are out of your control will go well for you.
That’s why you mustn’t rush or shortcut the no-contact process. You need this time to build self-confidence so that everything else will come naturally later in life. The sooner you implement a no-contact rule after a breakup, the sooner these benefits will show up in your life (and remember that every day counts!).
It Gives You a Chance to Cut Off Your Exes Social Media Access to You
Breaking up is hard enough, but in the age of social media, it’s a whole new situation. Your ex can still keep tabs on you through your status updates and photos even after you break up, and that can cause you a lot of mental anguish. The no-contact rule gives you the option to cut your ex off from your feeds so he or she isn’t constantly reminded of what they’re missing when they’re not with you.
If your ex is still following you on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc., it means he or she hasn’t gotten over the breakup yet. Although it’s tempting to post how awful things are right now to make him or her feel bad and get him or her back (who hasn’t posted something like that when they’ve been through a breakup?), this will only prolong the pain of the breakup and prevent you both from moving on with your lives.
The key is self-control: don’t do anything to make your former partner jealous or remind them of their decision to break up with you. You may want them back immediately after you’re dumped (and posting vague messages on social media could make them go on their way), but if for whatever reason that doesn’t happen, all those posts will just be a reminder to both parties every time they see each other because we humans are programmed not to forget bad experiences like breakups so easily.
It Prevents You From Being Emotionally Unavailable to a New Person
Whether you’re a man or a woman, if you’re dating someone new, they should know they’ve your full attention. If you’re still in touch with your ex, this will be incredibly difficult. On the outside, you may be able to pretend that everything is fine, but on the inside, it’s not so easy.
Being emotionally available means being able to trust another person and receive their love and affection without hesitation or doubt. If you want to be available to a new person, you must stop talking to your ex.
The no-contact rule is crucial because serving two masters just doesn’t work. Your heart belongs to one person at a time – either your ex or your new love – and if you’re pining after an old flame while trying to hook up with a new person, everyone ends up getting hurt (including you).
It Shows That What You Have to Offer Is Valuable and in Demand by Others
This is the immediate benefit of the no-contact rule. It forces you to cut off contact with your ex and stop being involved in his/her life. This allows you to detach from him/her and let him/her go, although you may not be sure if you want to or not.
It also gives you a chance to show your ex what he or she’s missing while helping you rediscover what it is that made him or her fall in love with you.
The no-contact rule is designed to help you recover from your breakup by boosting your self-esteem and giving you some distance between the two of you. This won’t only help you get over the breakup, but also pave the way for future relationships!
It Can Be Effective if You Suspect That He or She’s Playing Mind Games With You
If you think your ex(s) is playing mind games with you, the no-contact rule can be very effective. If your relationship was a genuine, sincere one and he or she’s suddenly testing you or trying to make you jealous, that’s a warning sign. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you any more or have lost interest in the relationship. It means they’ve something else on their mind right now and it’s nothing to do with getting back together.
My advice is to stay away from people who play mind games because it’s not healthy for two people to engage in such an unhealthy dynamic. You want someone who’s integrity, compassion, and a high emotional quotient – not someone who manipulates others for their gain. It’ll only hurt you if this person continues to play games with your heart.
It Provides Both Parties With Much-Needed Space After a Breakup
When you’re going through the emotional roller coaster of a breakup, it’s almost impossible to think clearly. Both parties are still very fragile and need time to heal themselves. The no contact period gives both of them the space they need to work through the pain of the breakup and move forward.
Without this period of separation, there’s a risk that you’ll hurt each other with bad words said out of anger or in a weak moment when you just need someone to comfort you. At this time, it’s also easy for one or both parties to sabotage any chance of reconciliation by attacking each other.
This only makes the situation worse and leads one or both of you down a dangerous path of doing permanent damage to your relationship that can never be repaired. A period of no contact allows you to keep a calm head during this difficult time so that when you do get back in touch, hopefully, you’ll be talking to each other on better terms and with fewer regrets.
It Brings Back Your Self-Esteem
Regardless of whether you’re the one who initiated or followed up on contact with your ex after a breakup, it can have a significant impact on your self-esteem.
If you’re the one initiating contact, you’re showing your ex that you’re still interested in him/her and that you aren’t moving forward with your life. Not only does this show that you haven’t moved on, but it also shows that you’re desperate for attention.
Acting needy and constantly contacting your ex can also affect your self-image. If he/she doesn’t respond to your reaching out or takes hours or days to respond to a simple “Hey! How are you?” chances are he/she doesn’t want to talk to you right now. Such a situation can hurt someone’s self-confidence if he/she continues to stalk his/her ex even though he/she’s being ignored.
However, if he/she’s been checking in with you repeatedly since the breakup to see how you’re doing (or maybe just randomly), then there’s a good chance that he/she’s interested in rekindling the relationship with you.
But just receiving that random text message could make it harder for someone after the breakup, because he or she knows what his or her intentions are and how much that puts someone at risk of “fixing” things instead of moving on with their life immediately after the breakup.
It Helps You Develop New Friendships and Social Networks
This can be especially helpful if you’re shy or introverted, but even the extroverts among us can find that we get stuck in a rut if we don’t intentionally expand our social circles. For those who’ve particularly unhealthy relationship patterns, it can also be helpful to avoid forming relationships with the same people over and over again (and being attracted to them despite your best intentions).
It helps you to focus on other people and their needs, rather than just focusing on your own. This way, everyone (but especially co-dependents) can learn to put their own needs on hold for a while so they don’t neglect others or feel neglected by them.
You’ll get more social support and have more fun with your friends. You’ll be surprised how much better you feel when you spend time with friends instead of talking or thinking about one person all day. If enough time has passed, chances are you’ll find that all that extra time benefits your friendships because they can finally “breathe” again! There’s no doubt that you’ll find it easier to stop feeling lonely when you’re having more fun with your friends.
Having less (or no) contact with an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend can help you both move on from the relationship more quickly when one or both of you would otherwise tend to hold on to it longer than necessary.
It Helps You Forgive
By cutting off contact, you’re giving yourself the time and space you need to not only heal but to forgive.
Forgiving your ex is a big step in moving on with your life. It allows you to move forward without harboring negative feelings towards him/her, which can be a huge weight on your shoulders.
When it comes to forgiving their new girlfriend/boyfriend, this helps immensely because it takes away the jealousy that may be plaguing you. Jealousy makes people do things they wouldn’t normally do just because they’re envious or spiteful. Forgive him/her for taking what she/he didn’t dare to take from you before, and live in peace!
Forgiving yourself is also beneficial, of course, because it frees you from guilt and shame associated with ending the relationship prematurely or making bad decisions.
It also teaches compassion in dealing with others who’re going through difficult times like these, so that they too can learn not to let their emotions control every aspect of their being as they desperately try not to give in to temptation or become bitter about something they can’t change, any more than they would want anyone else to!
If you don’t forgive, bitterness and resentment will settle in your heart and soul, which will negatively affect all areas of your life.
It Takes Willpower, but It’s Worth It
Let’s face it, the no contact rule isn’t easy and requires a lot of willpower. It feels natural to talk to your ex after a breakup, especially if you’re still in love with him or her. Often people say things like, “This hurts too much and I need to get him/her out of my head for a while.” Or, “I can’t function or move on until we talk about what happened”.
You may think your ex is thinking the same thing you are. He/she’s probably not sitting around feeling bad about breaking up with you but is most likely distracted by friends, work and family obligations, or even other potential relationships. In any case, he/she’ll call you when he/she’s ready to talk, which may be days or weeks after the breakup (if ever), so why waste time?
The no contact rule is the most effective way to get your ex back, because it helps you put things in perspective and regain control of your emotions so you can think again. It may cost you some effort to stick with it, but in the long run, no contact saves both time and energy because if you cut off contact with your ex, he/she will miss you more quickly, so he/she may contact you sooner rather than later.
You Should Keep the No Contact Policy Until Your Ex Contacts You for a Positive Reason
If your ex doesn’t contact you during the no contact period, keep doing it until he/she does.
If he contacts you for a negative reason, respond kindly and remind him/her of his/her positive reasons. If it’s a positive reason, respond with kindness and maintain control of the conversation.
Keep control of the conversation and use text messaging to reinforce the positive reasons. Control the conversation by not talking about yourself. Don’t go into detail about how you feel, but highlight all the positive changes in your life that have occurred since the breakup (without being boastful). Focus on making him/her feel good instead of trying to make you feel good.
It Is About Finding New Ways to Live Your Life
The no contact rule is about finding new ways to live your life without relying on the emotional support or validation of others.
These are the 3 main reasons why the no-contact rule is so effective in helping you recover from a breakup.
It improves your well-being and emotional health by ridding your life of all the toxicity that comes from being in a relationship with someone who’s not good for you.
It’s about finding new ways to live your life without depending on the emotional support or validation of others. You’ll learn to become more self-reliant, which leads to greater happiness because it allows people to be independent. The ability to love yourself will also reduce anxiety and depression. Happiness occurs when we’re able to give ourselves what we need most: Affection, attention, and appreciation – these things should never come from outside, but from within ourselves!
The final reason why no-contact orders work so well after heartbreak is the ability to ban toxic relationships from our lives forever! This means we’ll no longer have someone to emotionally drag us down every day or make us feel like there’s no hope after losing someone special.
Conclusion
In summary, the no contact rule is effective in helping you get over a breakup and giving both parties much-needed space after a breakup. It works by giving your mind and heart time to miss the familiar feeling of being with your ex.
It’s easier for you to let go of the relationship because you’re going through it alone, without being in constant contact with your ex. This, in turn, will help you regain your self-esteem as you reorganize your life.
If you’re still not convinced why the no-contact rule is so effective, here are more reasons that might change your mind.
Silence Speaks Louder Than Words
When you stop talking to someone who used to be an integral part of your daily life, it’ll slowly dawn on them how important you were in their life.
The Law of Replacement
Followers of the Law believe that everything can be replaced if there’s something or someone better than you. So when two people are no longer together and something else takes their place, it’s only natural for each party to want what they no longer have until something better comes along and replaces it.
